A mother in my 20s

PRIMARY SCHOOL TEACHER MICHELLE BAINBRIDGE, 46, LIVES IN BURY ST EDMONDS, SUFFOLK, WITH HER HUSBAND DAVID, 47, AND THEIR CHILDREN ELLIE, 18, EDWARD, 16, AND ROSE, 13.

AT 27 I WAS THE FIRST OF MY FRIENDS TO HAVE A BABY. EVEN THEN, I WAS CONSIDERED A “YOUNG MUM”. BUT WITH A HISTORY OF EARLY MENOPAUSE IN MY FAMILY I ALWAYS PLANNED TO HAVE MY BABIES BY MY EARLY THIRTIES. ONCE I WAS PREGNANT, DAVID AND I GOT MARRIED AND LEFT OUR RENTED FLAT IN LONDON TO BUY A SMALL TERRACED HOUSE IN AN OXFORDSHIRE VILLAGE.

DESPITE MY AGE I FOUND PREGNANCY HARD, SUFFERING PRE-ECLAMPSIA. BEING YOUNG IS NO GUARANTEE OF A SMOOTH NINE MONTHS.

WHEN I WAS SIX MONTHS PREGNANT I QUIT MY JOB AS A VETERINARY NURSE. LUCKILY WE COULD AFFORD TO LIVE OFF DAVID’S INCOME AS A VET.

AFTER ELLIE WAS BORN, DESPITE HAVING BEEN CONVINCED I WAS READY TO WAVE GOODBYE TO MY CHILD-FREE LIFESTYLE, I ADMIT THERE WERE TIMES IN THE EARLY MONTHS WHEN I ENVIED MY FRIENDS.

THEY WERE STILL IN LONDON, CLUBBING AND BOOKING EXOTIC HOLIDAYS, WHILE I WAS IN THE COUNTRYSIDE WITH A YOUNG BABY, GOING TO MUMMY COFFEE MORNINGS. THANKFULLY THOSE FEELINGS DIDN’T LAST ALL THAT LONG. I KNOW FULL-TIME MOTHERHOOD IS NOT FOR EVERYONE BUT I FOUND IT FULFILLING. I HAD TWO MORE CHILDREN AND STAYED AT HOME FOR TEN YEARS. I DIDN’T FIND IT HARD TO WALK AWAY FROM MY CAREER BECAUSE I KNEW THERE’D BE TIME TO RETURN ONCE MY CHILDREN WERE OLDER. I THINK IT’S A MUCH BIGGER DECISION THE OLDER YOU GET, WHEN YOU ARE MORE SENIOR AT WORK AND YOUR CHILD-FREE LIFESTYLE IS MORE ENTRENCHED.

NOW AS MY CHILDREN HAVE GOT

OLDER, MY FRIENDS AND COLLEAGUES

HAVE STARTED HAVING FAMILIES BUT

I DON’T ENVY THEIR PREGNANCIES.

I DON’T THINK I’D HAVE THE PHYSICAL

ENERGY FOR THAT STAGE AT THIS AGE.

A FEW YEARS AGO I BEGAN TO FEEL AN URGE TO DO SOMETHING FOR ME. THE CHILDREN NEEDED ME LESS SO I WENT TO UNIVERSITY AND QUALIFIED AS A

TEACHER, AN AMBITION OF MINE SINCE CHILDHOOD.

ELLIE IS STUDYING ENGLISH LITERATURE AT THE UNIVERSITY OF LIVERPOOL. SHE SAYS: “IT’S ONLY IN THE PAST

FEW YEARS IT’S STRUCK ME THAT MY MUM IS AROUND A DECADE YOUNGER

THAN MY FRIENDS’ MOTHERS. BUT I’M ENJOYING THE CLOSENESS WE HAVE, WHICH IS PARTLY DOWN TO HER AGE.

“WOULD I HAVE CHILDREN AT THE SAME AGE? I’D LIKE TO GET MY CAREER ESTABLISHED BEFORE I HAVE CHILDREN, AND WITH GOING TO UNIVERSITY I MIGHT REACH THAT POINT A BIT LATER THAN

MUM, BUT IDEALLY I’LL HAVE MY BABIES NO LATER THAN MY EARLY THIRTIES SO

I CAN BE A YOUNG MUM TOO.” >>

“THERE WERE TIMES WHEN I ENVIED MY FRIENDS GOING CLUBBING AND ON HOLIDAYS”