A mother in my teens
ALICE MONTGOMERY, 43, IS A TEACHING ASSISTANT AND LIVES IN LONDON WITH HER HUSBAND TONY, 46. THEIR ELDEST DAUGHTER SIOBHAN, 24, WAS CONCEIVED BY ACCIDENT THREE MONTHS AFTER THEY MET. THEY ALSO HAVE TWO SONS, PETER, 22, AND ALFIE 12.
IN ONE YEAR MY LIFE CHANGED BEYOND RECOGNITION. AS AN 18-YEAR-OLD STILL LIVING AT HOME, THE BIGGEST DECISION I MADE WAS WHERE TO GO CLUBBING
WITH MY FRIENDS AT THE WEEKEND. HAVING CHILDREN WAS SOMETHING FOR THE DISTANT FUTURE. THEN I GOT PREGNANT AND THE FOLLOWING YEAR I WAS LIVING WITH TONY IN A CRAMPED RENTED FLAT, WITH A TINY BABY WHO WAS RELIANT ON ME FOR EVERYTHING. HOWEVER, MY YOUTH MEANT I BREEZED THROUGH PREGNANCY AND BIRTH AND I ALSO HAD THAT TEENAGE ARROGANCE THAT I KNEW BEST. I’D OFTEN IGNORE PROFESSIONAL ADVICE AND FOLLOW MY OWN INSTINCTS. OUR PARENTS WERE SUPPORTIVE BUT STRANGERS WERE OFTEN DISAPPROVING. ONE DAY WHEN SIOBHAN WAS CRYING AN OLD LADY ON THE BUS SAID, “IT’S BECAUSE YOU’RE TOO YOUNG TO CONTROL HER.”
FINANCIALLY IT WAS A STRUGGLE TOO. TONY HAD A SERIES OF JOBS AND WORKED HARD BUT IN THOSE EARLY DAYS HIS SALARY BARELY COVERED THE ESSENTIALS. SOME NIGHTS WE HAD TO CHOOSE BETWEEN BUYING FOOD FOR US OR NAPPIES FOR SIOBHAN. OF COURSE WE BOUGHT THE NAPPIES.
LACK OF MONEY PUT A STRAIN ON OUR RELATIONSHIP, ESPECIALLY AS TONY
AND I WERE COOPED UP TOGETHER EVERY EVENING. THERE WERE A LOT OF ARGUMENTS. AT TIMES I FELT ISOLATED AND I DID MISS MY OLD SOCIAL LIFE. AT LEAST IT WAS BEFORE SOCIAL MEDIA SO I WASN’T SEEING PHOTOS OF ALL THE FUN MY FRIENDS WERE HAVING WITHOUT ME.
WHAT KEPT TONY
AND ME TOGETHER? LOVE, AND A FEELING WE WERE IN IT TOGETHER. AND I ADORED BEING A MUM. PETER CAME ALONG TWO YEARS AFTER SIOBHAN AND WE MOVED TO A BIGGER FLAT. THEN WHEN I WAS 30, I HAD ALFIE. BY NOW WE WERE MORE ESTABLISHED FINANCIALLY, I WAS WORKING AND TONY HAD A MANAGERIAL JOB, BUT I FELT MORE TIRED DURING THE PREGNANCY AND THERE WERE COMPLICATIONS WITH MY PLACENTA DURING THE BIRTH.
THIS TIME I READ ALL THE BOOKS
AND TOOK ON BOARD EVERYTHING THE MIDWIFE SAID. IN MANY WAYS I WAS MORE RESPONSIBLE, BUT I ALSO FELT MORE ANXIOUS ABOUT DOING THE RIGHT THING. SIOBHAN, ALSO A TEACHING ASSISTANT, HAS A ONE-YEAR-OLD SON MAX WITH HER PARTNER ANTHONY. SHE SAYS: “MUM AND I ARE VERY CLOSE, PROBABLY BECAUSE WE HAVE MORE IN COMMON THAN MANY OF MY FRIENDS AND THEIR MUMS. DESPITE
HER HAVING ME SO YOUNG I WAS STILL TERRIFIED WHEN I TOLD HER I WAS HAVING A BABY. I THOUGHT SHE’D WANT ME TO BE MORE ESTABLISHED IN MY CAREER BEFORE I STARTED A FAMILY. BUT SHE’S BEEN TOTALLY SUPPORTIVE. SHE’S MY ROLE MODEL.”