I’m working to help protectchildren from sexual abuse
CHRIS TUCK EXPLAINS WHY SHE’S SUPPORTING THE TRUTH PROJECT, AN INITIATIVE THAT GIVES VICTIMS OF CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE – LIKE HERSELF – THE CHANCE TO SHARE THEIR EXPERIENCES AND PROTECT FUTURE GENERATIONS
ONE IN 20 CHILDREN IS SEXUALLY ABUSED IN THE UK* – IT’S A SHOCKING STATISTIC BUT STEPS ARE NOW BEING TAKEN TO INVESTIGATE HOW AND WHY THIS IS HAPPENING. THE INDEPENDENT INQUIRY INTO CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE IN ENGLAND AND WALES, ESTABLISHED IN 2015, IS LOOKING AT THE GROWING EVIDENCE OF INSTITUTIONAL FAILURES TO PROTECT CHILDREN FROM SEXUAL ABUSE.
AS AN INTEGRAL PART OF THE INQUIRY, THE TRUTH PROJECT IS OFFERING PEOPLE WHO’VE SUFFERED SEXUAL ABUSE AS CHILDREN THE CHANCE TO SHARE THEIR EXPERIENCES. WITH THIS BODY OF EVIDENCE, THE INQUIRY WILL BE ABLE TO MAKE RECOMMENDATIONS TO THE GOVERNMENT, SO IT CAN IMPLEMENT CHANGES THAT WILL ENSURE THE BEST POSSIBLE PROTECTION FOR CHILDREN IN THE FUTURE.
“AS SOMEONE WHO HAS EXPERIENCED THE TRAUMA OF SEXUAL, MENTAL AND PHYSICAL ABUSE IN MY CHILDHOOD, ANY OPPORTUNITY TO PREVENT OTHER CHILDREN SUFFERING LIKE I DID IS TO BE WELCOMED. I FIRST REALISED I COULD HELP OTHERS WHEN I HAD MY SECOND CHILD AT AGE 33. I’D BEEN AN ACCOUNTANT AND THEN A BUSINESS MANAGER AT A PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL BUT JUGGLING FULL-TIME WORK WITH TWO CHILDREN WASN’T WORKING.
KEEPING FIT HAD BEEN MY WAY OF COPING WITH STRESS. I RETRAINED AS A FITNESS COACH AND INTRODUCED FITNESS THERAPY TO THE HOSPITAL. ON WALKS WITH THE PATIENTS, THEY’D TALK ABOUT THEIR
PASTS AND SOMETIMES I OPENED UP
ABOUT MINE IF IT SEEMED APPROPRIATE. I WAS TOLD MANY TIMES THAT OPENING UP ABOUT MY CHILDHOOD TRAUMAS HELPED THEM AND THAT GOT ME THINKING. UP TO THAT TIME, I’D TRIED TO SHOW THE WORLD I WAS THIS PERFECT MUM WITH A RESPECTED JOB AND MY OWN HOUSE. UNDERNEATH IT, THERE WERE RUMBLINGS OF UNHAPPINESS AND HIDING MY TRUE IDENTITY, AND I REALISED I NEEDED TO SHARE MY LIFE EXPERIENCES TO HELP OTHERS.
A WAY TO HELP
IN 2015 I HEARD ABOUT THE INDEPENDENT INQUIRY INTO CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE, AND
AS A CAMPAIGNER ABOUT THE IMPACT OF CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE AND THE LACK OF APPROPRIATE SPECIALIST SUPPORT SERVICES, I FELT THAT BY APPLYING TO BE ON THE VICTIM SURVIVOR CONSULTATIVE PANEL I COULD HELP MAKE A DIFFERENCE. I WAS ACCEPTED ALONG WITH SEVEN OTHERS. OUR ROLE IS TO MAKE SURE THAT THE PERSPECTIVE OF VICTIMS AND SURVIVORS IS INCLUDED IN ALL ASPECTS OF THE
INQUIRY WORK AND WE HAVE BEEN INVOLVED IN THE TRUTH PROJECT FROM ITS INCEPTION.
THE MEDIA TO DATE HAS CENTRED AROUND INDIVIDUALS WHO HAVE SUFFERED CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE WITHIN INSTITUTIONS, AND THIS HAS HIGHLIGHTED A HIGH PERCENTAGE OF MALE VICTIMS BECAUSE MANY INSTITUTIONS WERE FOR MEN. FOR MANY WOMEN, CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE TAKES PLACE IN THE HOME AND THEY ARE LET DOWN BY INSTITUTIONS LIKE SCHOOLS, SOCIAL SERVICES AND THE POLICE, WHO IGNORE THE SIGNS OR FAIL TO LISTEN.
I WAS LET DOWN BY THEM ALL.
AT THE AGE OF SEVEN, MY MOTHER LEFT
THE FAMILY HOME. SHE COULDN’T PUT UP WITH MY FATHER’S VIOLENCE AND AFFAIRS. SHE HAD WANTED TO TAKE ME AND MY SIBLINGS WITH HER BUT WITH NO MONEY AND NO SUPPORT AVAILABLE IN 1977, IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE. I WAS LEFT WITH MY ELDER BROTHER AND A YOUNGER SISTER AND BROTHER TO LOOK AFTER.
WHEN MY FATHER REMARRIED, THINGS WENT FROM BAD TO WORSE. OUR HOME LIFE WAS VIOLENT AND CHAOTIC, AND WE WENT TO SCHOOL HUNGRY, DIRTY AND SMELLY.
SEXUAL ABUSE
AT THE AGE OF NINE, I WAS SEXUALLY
ABUSED BY A SCHOOL MINI BUS DRIVER WHO HAD BEFRIENDED ME AND SOME OTHER CHILDREN. HE KNEW WE WERE VULNERABLE – YOU’D CALL IT GROOMING OR CHILD SEXUAL EXPLOITATION NOWADAYS. ALL WE KNEW WAS HE WAS AN ADULT WHO HAD TIME TO TALK TO US, HE GAVE US SWEETS AND LET US SIT IN
THE BUS. THEN ONE DAY HE SAID HE’D FORGOTTEN OUR SWEETS BUT THAT WE COULD GO TO HIS HOUSE AND GET THEM. THAT’S WHEN THE ASSAULT TOOK PLACE, WITH ME AND TWO OTHER CHILDREN.
WHEN I TOLD MY DAD AND STEPMUM WHAT HAD HAPPENED, THEY TOOK ME TO
THE POLICE. I HAD AN INTERNAL EXAMINATION, WHICH WAS HORRIFIC, BUT I WAS NEVER TOLD WHAT ACTION THE POLICE TOOK AFTER THAT.
I’VE SINCE DISCOVERED THE MAN HAS DIED SO THERE WILL NEVER BE A PROSECUTION.
I WROTE ABOUT MY HOME LIFE IN A STORY AT SCHOOL WHEN I WAS ABOUT TEN. WHEN
THE TEACHER READ IT, SHE ASKED ME IF IT WAS TRUE. I DIDN’T SAY ANYTHING BECAUSE I DIDN’T WANT TO GET INTO TROUBLE. HER RESPONSE WAS TO SAY IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY, “YOU’VE AN OVERACTIVE IMAGINATION AND IT’S GOING TO GET YOU INTO TROUBLE ONE DAY”.
ALTHOUGH WE WERE ON THE AT RISK REGISTER, SOCIAL SERVICES ALSO FAILED US. SOCIAL WORKERS GAVE ADVANCE NOTICE OF THEIR VISITS, SO THERE WOULD BE FOOD ON
THE TABLE AND WE WOULD BE WELL DRESSED. I TOLD THEM WHAT THEY SAW WAS ALL A LIE
BUT THE SOCIAL WORKER DIDN’T BELIEVE ME.
AS IF THINGS COULDN’T GET WORSE, MY FATHER WAS REPORTED TO THE POLICE. THEY BROKE DOWN THE DOOR ONE DAY AFTER
I’D GOT BACK FROM SCHOOL AND TOOK HIM AWAY. HE WAS CONVICTED AND SENT TO PRISON FOR CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE.
DESPITE MY TRAUMATIC CHILDHOOD, I ALWAYS HAD A VISION OF HOW THINGS COULD BE. SHEER TENACITY DROVE ME TO MAKE SURE I GOT QUALIFICATIONS, A JOB AND A HOME.
IT’S A BIG ASK OF ANYONE WHO’S BEEN SEXUALLY ABUSED TO EXPERIENCE THEIR STORY BUT TRUTH PROJECT IS A ONCE-IN-A-LIFETIME OPPORTUNITY FOR US TO BE PART OF CREATING A SAFER FUTURE FOR CHILDREN. I WANT THE INQUIRY TO BE AWARE OF OUR EXPERIENCES, SO THEY’LL BE ABLE TO DRAFT RECOMMENDATIONS THAT ARE SO ROBUST, THE GOVERNMENT HAS NO CHOICE BUT TO IMPLEMENT THEM.
‘Talking to someone who is empathic, who will listen and not judge you is often very powerful.’ DR BRYONY FARRANT, PSYCHOLOGIST TO THE INQUIRY