MY SISTER DIDN’T HAVE A BAD BONE IN HER BODY
WE TALK TO KIM LEADBEATER, SISTER OF MURDERED MP JO COX
LAST YEAR, ON 16 JUNE, JO COX, THE LABOUR MP FOR BATLEY AND SPEN IN WEST YORKSHIRE, WAS FATALLY SHOT AND STABBED OUTSIDE THE LIBRARY WHERE SHE WAS ABOUT TO HOLD HER CONSTITUENCY SURGERY. HERE, HER YOUNGER SISTER KIM LEADBEATER TALKS MOVINGLY ABOUT GROWING UP WITH A WOMAN WHO HAS BECOME AN INSPIRATION TO SO MANY. THE LAST TIME I SAW JO WAS THE THURSDAY BEFORE SHE WAS KILLED – AND I AM VERY CAREFUL TO REFER TO HER DEATH AS A MURDER. IT WASN’T A TRAGIC ACCIDENT. SHE TURNED UP AT MY HOUSE IN WEST YORKSHIRE AFTER A DAY OF CAMPAIGNING FOR THE EU REFERENDUM, AND ASKED TO BORROW SOME COMFORTABLE CLOTHES. TYPICALLY, SHE WAS SO FOCUSED ON THE BIGGER PICTURE THAT SHE’D OFTEN FORGET THE SMALLER THINGS, SO WOULD END UP HERE WITH NOTHING TO WEAR.
I LENT HER MY HOODIE AND PYJAMA BOTTOMS, AND MADE HER A CUP OF TEA. I REMEMBER HER SNUGGLED UP IN A CHAIR IN THE LIVING ROOM – SHE LOOKED SO TINY. SHE’D BEEN ELECTED AN MP THE PREVIOUS YEAR AND AFTER MONTHS OF STAYING AT MUM AND DAD’S AND CAMPING OUT ON MY FLOOR, SHE’D EVENTUALLY FOUND TIME TO FIND HER OWN PLACE IN YORKSHIRE. AT THE END OF THE EVENING I DROVE HER TO HER COTTAGE AND WE HAD A BIG HUG. SHE WANTED TO GIVE ME BACK MY HOODIE; I SAID SHE COULD
GIVE IT TO ME THE NEXT TIME SHE SAW ME. OF COURSE, THERE WAS NO NEXT TIME.
WE HAD A LOVING AND SUPPORTIVE CHILDHOOD GROWING UP IN HECKMONDWIKE, ON THE EDGE OF THE PENNINE HILLS. DAD WAS A PRODUCTION MANAGER AT A FACTORY AND MUM WAS A SCHOOL SECRETARY. JO
AND I WERE EXTREMELY CLOSE. WE DID EVERYTHING TOGETHER – BMX BIKING, DANCE CLASSES, THE BROWNIES. WE WERE VERY CLOSE AS A FAMILY, TOO, AND THERE WERE NO NEGATIVE FEELINGS. I FEEL VERY LUCKY THAT WE HAD SO MANY HAPPY YEARS. I COULDN’T HAVE ASKED FOR A BETTER SISTER. EVEN THOUGH SHE WAS TWO YEARS OLDER THAN ME, I WAS THE LOUD ONE. JO WAS SO VERY SHY AT TIMES – WHICH MIGHT SURPRISE PEOPLE GIVEN SHE ENDED UP A POLITICIAN – AND WORKED HARD TO OVERCOME THAT SHYNESS.
WHEN JO MOVED AWAY AT 18 TO STUDY AT CAMBRIDGE UNIVERSITY, IT WAS A TOUGH TIME FOR US BOTH. I FELT AS IF I’D LOST MY BEST FRIEND. SHE WAS THE FIRST MEMBER OF OUR FAMILY TO GO TO UNIVERSITY AND SHE WAS PLUNGED INTO THIS STRANGE WORLD WHERE SHE KNEW NO ONE AND WHERE PEOPLE WOULD TAKE THE MICKEY OUT OF HER YORKSHIRE ACCENT. I KEPT TELLING HER TO COME BACK, BUT SHE WAS SO DETERMINED, FULL OF YORKSHIRE GRIT.
AFTER UNIVERSITY, JO TRAVELLED THE WORLD WORKING FOR OXFAM AND VOLUNTEERED IN PLACES LIKE SUDAN. OUR PARENTS
HAD INSTILLED IN US THE IMPORTANCE OF RESPECTING OTHERS, ACCEPTING THEM FOR WHAT THEY ARE AND PUTTING THEIR FEELINGS ABOVE YOUR OWN. JO DIDN’T HAVE A BAD BONE IN HER BODY – IT WOULD BE VERY HARD FINDING SOMEONE WHO DIDN’T LIKE HER.
JO MET BRENDAN, HER FUTURE HUSBAND, AT OXFAM AND THEY MARRIED IN 2009. WHEN THEY HAD THEIR CHILDREN, CUILLIN AND LEJLA, THERE WAS THIS LOVELY NEW ROLE FOR ME – SUPER-AUNTIE – AND I’D GO DOWN TO LONDON WHERE THEY LIVED AND HELP WITH THE KIDS. AFTER THAT LAST TIME I SAW JO, >>
I SPOKE TO HER ON THE PHONE A FEW TIMES. WE WERE ORGANISING FATHER’S DAY AND A BIRTHDAY PARTY FOR JO AT A LOCAL RESTAURANT – SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN 42 SIX DAYS AFTER SHE WAS MURDERED. I CAN’T GO THERE NOW. EVERYWHERE I LOOK, I SEE JO. IT’S LOVELY TO HAVE ALL THESE MEMORIES, BUT COMPLETELY HEARTBREAKING AT THE SAME TIME
JO’S MURDER
THE ACTUAL DAY OF JO’S MURDER IS STILL A
BLUR. IT WAS THE EUROPEAN CHAMPIONSHIPS THAT AFTERNOON AND MY PARTNER AND I WERE SETTLING DOWN TO WATCH THE ENGLAND VERSUS WALES GAME.
I’D TAKEN THE CAR IN FOR AN MOT AND JOGGED DOWN THE ROAD TO COLLECT IT. ON MY WAY THERE, I GOT A CALL FROM BRENDAN. HE TOLD ME THAT JO HAD BEEN ATTACKED. I DON’T KNOW IF IT WAS BECAUSE SHE WAS MY SISTER, BUT I INSTANTLY EXPECTED THE WORSE. I TOLD THE GARAGE OWNER I’D JUST HEARD A BIT OF WORRYING NEWS ABOUT MY SISTER. I ASKED HIM IF KNEW WHO SHE WAS, THAT SHE WAS THE LOCAL MP. HE SAID, “NO, SORRY,
I NEVER WATCH THE NEWS – IT’S TOO DEPRESSING.” THAT REALLY STUCK WITH ME. I DROVE STRAIGHT TO THE HOSPITAL, IN A DAZE, MY LEGS SHAKING, TO HAVE MY WORST FEARS CONFIRMED – JO HAD BEEN KILLED.
THERE WAS A HUGE PUBLIC OUTPOURING. THINGS WERE ARRIVING FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD – BOOKS OF CONDOLENCES, KNITTED BLANKETS FOR THE KIDS. I’VE MADE SPACE IN MY LOFT TO STORE IT ALL AWAY FOR JO’S CHILDREN TO LOOK AT WHEN THEY’RE OLDER. THE PUBLIC RESPONSE PROVIDED A LOT OF COMFORT TO OUR FAMILY IN THOSE EARLY, DARK, DARK WEEKS.
WE THEN STARTED COUNTING DOWN
THE MILESTONES. FIRST THERE WAS THE BY-ELECTION FOR JO’S SEAT. LEAFLETS COMING THROUGH MY DOOR, ASKING ME TO VOTE
FOR SO-AND-SO; THAT WAS VERY DIFFICULT.
THE TRIAL OF JO’S MURDERER WAS ANOTHER HURDLE. THEN IT WAS CHRISTMAS, THE KIDS’ BIRTHDAYS. OUR DAD’S 70TH – WE’D PLANNED A FAMILY HOLIDAY AND WE ALL WENT. WE
KNEW IT WAS WHAT JO WOULD WANT US TO DO – STAY STRONG AS A FAMILY, WITH THE CHILDREN AT THE CENTRE, SURROUNDED BY OUR LOVE.
NEW YEAR WAS TOUGH, THOUGH. I REMEMBER SITTING DOWN TO HAVE A DRINK ON NEW YEAR’S EVE AND SPOTTED A NEWSPAPER WITH PICTURES OF EVERYONE WHO’D DIED THAT YEAR. JO’S PICTURE WAS THERE – IT WAS ALL TOO MUCH.
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NEARLY A YEAR DOWN THE LINE, EVERY DAY IS STILL VERY DIFFICULT, BUT I FEEL IT IS MY DUTY TO TRY TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE AND KEEP JO’S PRINCIPLES ALIVE. NO ONE CAN CHANGE WHAT HAS HAPPENED, BUT SOMETHING POSITIVE HAS TO COME OUT OF OUR TRAGEDY. WE’VE TAKEN JO’S WORDS FROM HER MAIDEN PARLIAMENTARY SPEECH ON BOARD: “WE HAVE FAR MORE IN COMMON WITH EACH OTHER THAN THINGS THAT DIVIDE US.” THAT’S WHY WE STARTED THE JO COX FOUNDATION, TO HIGHLIGHT THE ISSUES CLOSE TO JO’S HEART, SUCH AS LONELINESS. AND THAT’S THE IDEA BEHIND THE GREAT GET TOGETHER – IT’S NOT TO RAISE MONEY; INSTEAD THE AIM IS TO GET COMMUNITIES UNITED OVER THE WEEKEND.
AS A FAMILY, OUR FOCUS CONTINUES TO BE THE CHILDREN, AND GIVING THEM AS NORMAL A LIFE AS WE CAN, AND THAT’S THE THING I CARE ABOUT ABOVE ALL ELSE – JO’S KIDS AND HOW MUM AND DAD ARE DOING. KEEPING BUSY HAS HELPED ME TO DEAL WITH THE GRIEVING PROCESS.
I KNOW THAT MY FRIENDS WORRY ABOUT ME AND THINK I’M BEING TOO MANIC, ORGANISING A FUN RUN FOR JO, A BIKE RIDE TO PARLIAMENT – BUT THAT’S BEEN MY WAY OF COPING. I HAVEN’T PROPERLY PROCESSED WHAT HAS HAPPENED – AFTER THIS MONTH I WILL TAKE SOME TIME OUT TO REFLECT. I STILL FIND MYSELF THINKING, “I MUST TELL JO ABOUT THIS OR THAT,” BEFORE STOPPING MYSELF AS REALITY BITES.
THE KIDS ARE COMING UP THIS WEEKEND, AND I’M SO EXCITED. THEN I INSTANTLY FEEL GUILTY: “HOW DARE YOU BE EXCITED. THEY’RE NOT YOUR CHILDREN; THEY’RE JO’S.” I HAVE TO REMIND MYSELF THAT JO WOULD HAVE WANTED ME TO ENJOY THEM AND HAVE FUN. THAT’S A DIFFICULT THING TO DO. BUT I’M NOT GOING TO BE BEATEN BY THIS – JO WOULDN’T WANT ME TO BE BEATEN EITHER. W&H
‘The public response provided comfort’