Hermione Norris
finding strength, fighting wrinkles and what really gives me cold feet!
Hermione Norris talks to Nathalie Whittle about harnessing inner strength, banishing wrinkles – and what really gives her Cold Feet!
What strikes me about Hermione Norris, 50, as she arrives at our shoot, is how effortlessly stylish she looks – much like her character, Karen Marsden, in the hit ITV show, Cold Feet, which launched her career. She’s dressed in a pinstripe Berenice blazer (“Just feel how soft it is!” she says, offering me a stroke), a pair of skinny jeans and an American Vintage shirt. Then she reveals her secret. “I’m incredibly lucky because Darren Finch who designs [the costumes] for Cold Feet buys me really beautiful clothes that I can wear as me, Hermione, too.”
But don’t be fooled into thinking Hermione and Karen have too much in common. “Karen’s so much cooler than I am, trust me,” she says. “And she’s much more together than me. I’m very open emotionally – I cry every time the news is on,” she laughs. “No honestly, it started happening after I had kids – it’s terrible!” With Cold Feet now in its seventh series following a hugely successful comeback last year – it seems both Hermione and Karen are back for good. Hermione lives with her husband, screenwriter and producer Simon Wheeler, and their two children, Wilf, 13, and Hero, ten, in Somerset.
ON CONFIDENCE
What gives me cold feet? Going out to any kind of social event. You probably think I’m joking, but I’m not. I find awards ceremonies the worst. As much as I love my job, I get very nervous about being on show and being exposed; I’d much rather be at home than at some showbiz party. It’s a miracle I’ve got to where I am today.
When I’m having a moment and think, “I can’t do this,” I meditate. In fact, I won’t even go to work without doing it. I’ve been doing it for 20 years now and it’s made such a difference to my life. In all our jobs, there’s this noise around you all the time, and I find meditation centres me and calms me, and enables me to be present. I’m always trying to get Simon to do it too – but I haven’t succeeded... yet.
I now know that the secret to feeling confident is to be who you are. You’re the only person you actually have to spend the rest of your life with, so get on your side of the fence and be your own best friend. It’s taken me a while to learn that.
My parents divorced when I was five, leaving my mum, a full-time health visitor, on her own with four children.
I have an elder sister, Sarah, and younger twins, Laura and Mike, and we were real latchkey kids, often left to
our own devices. That was never a bad thing, though. Mum taught us to be self-supporting and not to look to anyone to provide for us. I owe a lot to that attitude.
When I told Mum I wanted to be an actress, she thought I should take a secretarial course instead. I ignored her, and I did struggle for a while.
I went to drama school [LAMDA], and worked on the tills at Sainsbury’s and sold double glazing just to make some cash. I spent the next ten years doing theatre work before my big break in Cold Feet. I now realise that this career is like being on a little dinghy: the wind blows and you go along with it and get a great part, then the wind dies down and you have to wait. You just stay on the boat and wait for the wind to blow. It never changes, however many great parts you get.
ON COLD FEET
When the gang came back together for the Cold Feet “revival” last year, I looked at us all and thought, “Oh, we’re so old.” We had a lot of laughs about that. I’ve never particularly wanted to watch myself back, but I can tell you 13 years on, it only gets worse! And I have to spend a lot more time trying to block out the fact that there’s an HD camera right in my face. As soon as I think, “What do I look like from that angle?” it’s a disaster! >>
The atmosphere on the Cold Feet set is like no other job that I’ve ever worked on. As a group of actors, we’re all very different, but there’s something about this group of people all being together... it has a particular alchemy. Fay [Ripley] is easily the funniest woman I know and she’s also the “organiser” who will book a table at a restaurant and get us all out together. Then there’s John [Thomson], who’s always talking when he’s not supposed to, and being told off for it. Jimmy [James Nesbitt] is the serious one who always looks after us all – and Robert [Bathurst]? He’s just so sweet and a real charmer. I adore them all.
In this series, Karen is struggling to find a balance between her work and family life – I think we can all relate to that. Her publishing company is up and running, but she can’t seem to get a second book out of her “star” writer. Then she has to deal with all the problems that come with having two teenager daughters. It’s that thing where you’re constantly trying to keep the equilibrium and just hoping it doesn’t tip into chaos, which it invariably does. I know it all too well!
You’ll find us all playing on our phones between scenes these days (it’s a terrible distraction, isn’t it?), which is a far cry from what we were doing all those years ago. Our sets used to be in a massive studio in Manchester and Karen and David [Karen’s now ex-husband] had the nicest house – everyone wanted to go and sleep in their bedroom all the time. That sort of mucking about is still happening, but now it’s on our WhatsApp group where we post pictures and videos – it’s hilarious. I’d get in a lot of trouble if I told you what anyone said on it.
ON FAMILY LIFE
I didn’t think I’d ever settle down and do the whole marriage and kids thing. But I knew when I met Simon on the set of Wire in the Blood (he was producing it) 15 years ago, if I did want to, then he was the person I was going to do it with. It sounds so simple – too simple – but I just knew he was a really good man. He was kind and there was no nonsense with him – and to this day, there never has been.
Simon is eight years younger than me, but are there any bonuses? Absolutely not! If anything, it slightly annoys me because turning 50 was such a big deal for me, and he’s still not there yet. He’s certainly not a Ken doll either – you wouldn’t look at us and think, “Oh, she’s with a younger man.” You might be surprised to know that he’s the more mature one too – he’s solid and stable, while I’m slightly more four seasons in one day.
There are no date nights and no weekends away. It’s awful, isn’t it? We do celebrate our wedding anniversary, though, and we try to follow the themes – though I’m really awful at remembering them all. Last year it was ivory (our 14th), so I bought Simon a little silver bracelet with an elephant on it.
I truly believe that a good marriage is i about having faith in the commitment c that you’ve both made m to something. By the time you y get to my age, you’ve been on a journey, and it’s about allowing somebody s to find their way and go g off and do their thing – and come c back again. Simon and I are very v united in that sense, and it means m that if we do have an argument, a I don’t ever feel insecure in in my marriage. That’s just ju so important. We moved from London to Somerset five years ago, mostly for the kids, but I think it’s benefitted us all. We’re much more “together” as a family than we ever were in London because there are less distractions – and we’re not dipping in and out of each other’s life like we once were.
My daughter, Hero, and I have started baking together – but I feel really sorry for her with me in charge. We made some biscuits recently, and I make them too big every time so they all squish into each other. Then we end up having to reshape them all. She’s always delighted, though, bless her, but I’m afraid it’s not really Bake Off standard.
I have to admit, I’m very good at lying on the sofa, eating Pringles and watching box sets! The truth is, I’m actually very lazy. We have a big open fire in our house, and I love making a nice meal – I’ll do the basics, before getting Simon to make it taste nice – then sitting down in front of an episode of the American comedy series, Transparent. Total bliss.
ON STAYING YOUNG
One of the best things about country life is all the walking you can do. We have two dogs – a Pointer called Bess and a Great Dane called Ophelia – and I like to get out with them every day. The funny thing is, we’re so rural that I won’t even see anyone along the way – I’m just surrounded by sheep. My goal now is to get myself a Fitbit… it’s on my list of things to do.
When it comes to cosmetic surgery, I’d have it all – and I wouldn’t tell anyone. It seems strange to me that there’s this “confess all” thing now. Surely if you have a bit of work done, the point is for people to go, “God, you look good” – and you don’t say anything. That’s what I’d want people to do anyway. And I’d hope that if you had it done really well, then it wouldn’t show. People are so judgmental about it, but I say if it makes you feel good, just go for it.
ON FRIENDSHIP
The most important thing in my life is the connections I have with people. We all get weathered – there’s been death, illness, divorce – and it enriches those friendships when you’ve journeyed and been side by side with people going through all those things.
One of my best friends, Fiona, and I went on a girls’ holiday to Patmos when we turned 50. It was brilliant. It’s not snazzy, just really basic, which I love, and we spent the whole trip chatting, lazing around and eating non-stop. I don’t even need to be with my friends to “enjoy” them. I’ve spent hours – literally – on the phone to them when I’m away for work. I’ll put them on loudspeaker and we’ll have dinner together in my room.
ON FASHION
If I want to glam up, I’ll go for an Amanda Wakeley dinner jacket with a dress shirt, trousers and heels. It might sound strange, but I feel much more feminine in a dapper suit rather than a floral dress. I love androgynous fashion. If I could wear all men’s clothes, I would.
ON THE FUTURE
My whole life has been not knowing what’s coming next. I like that because certainty is an illusion for all of us, isn’t it? When you can really inhabit that space and not be frightened by it, it’s actually incredibly liberating.
I want to write more with Simon. The trouble is, he’s incredibly clever and I’m more of a slow, organic decision-maker. He’ll say, “I think we should do this together,” and the next minute he’ll come back with a script and I’m like, “What? Slow down!” We have started writing a book together, though.
I’d love to help break the taboo around mental health. I suffered from depression after my dad died when I was 21, and I’m not ashamed to admit that or to tell you I’ve had counselling. I think the work Princes William and Harry are doing is fantastic. w&h
“I have to admit, I’m very good at lying on the sofa, eating crisps and watching box sets!”