7 reasons getting older is good for your wellbeing it’s actually a privilege, so start making the most of it!

ageing doesn’t need to be dreaded, it’s actually a privilege we’re starting to make the most of, says andréa Childs

There comes a day when we realise we don’t need to buy into the myth of middle age. Maybe it’s when we realise our yoga-honed body is stronger than ever, chair a meeting and don’t feel like an imposter, or wake up feeling focused, happy and in control. “Women in their forties and beyond are pioneers of modern ageing. Like icons Jo Whiley, Davina McCall and Lorraine

Kelly, we’re not prepared to fade into invisibility,” says Rebecca Rhodes, founder of SuperHuman, a marketing agency that presents the value of women in their prime to the brands that routinely ignore them. “Our research shows that 67% of women in this age group feel more confident than they did 10 years ago, and 63% are optimistic about the future.” We are game changers in the world of wellness. Here’s why…

1 mental focuS improveS

by the time we get to our forties, we’ve either honed our ambitions or we’re ready for round two. Knowing what we want to achieve – a career change, dinner on the table by 7pm – can bring clarity. “staying on task and being able to focus makes you feel strong, smart and aware. We get distracted when we’re bored, sad, mad or confused,” says ageing expert Dr Julie schwartzbard. Goal-setting is key. “When we write down our goals, the chances of achieving them are enhanced. if we’re excited, challenged and adrenalised about our goal, we will keep working on it,” says Felice shapiro, founder of betterafter50.com. “Make it doable and challenging, have someone to help you keep on track, monitor your progress and celebrate your successes.”

2

SelfconSciouSneSS diSappearS

the day you walk into a party and care less about fitting in than the potential to meet new friends is a defining moment. “our teen years are defined by self-consciousness, and our twenties and thirties are about establishing our personal and social identity. in our forties, we feel more confident about who we are and where we’re at,” explains Gill Hasson, author of the Confidence Pocketbook: Little Exercises for a Self-Assured Life

(Capstone, £8.99). the years have given us perspective, so we care less about being judged, recognising whose opinions we value and filtering out the rest. of course, life can still leave us feeling wobbly – post-divorce, the kids leaving home, after illness. “accept what you’ve lost but focus on what you do have, then build on your positive qualities,” says Gill.

“it’s what Madonna does each time she reinvents herself.”

3

WillpoWer trumpS Strength

the biggest, and most surprising, success of sport England’s this Girl Can campaign wasn’t the >>

4

We feel calmer and more content

a groundbreaking study from the university of alabama showed that happiness levels continue to rise into our forties and beyond, with people reporting being happier in their mid-forties than they were at age 18. take-up in sports from young women, it was women our age who suddenly found their inner Jessica ennis-Hill – 75% of growth in sports in 2016 came from women aged 40 and above. “it’s a perfect storm of empowerment and pressure, as we achieve more in our careers and enjoy increased selfconfidence, yet also have to care for children and ageing parents. there’s a desire to be fighting fit to cope with it all,” says Rebecca Rhodes.

Cue the 6am Hiit classes, the rise in weightlifting for women and huge surge in women’s running (in 2017, the london marathon saw a 50:50 split between men and women running their first 26-miler). Key to success – whether it’s life juggling or completing your first 10k – is a positive mental attitude, says faisal abdalla, author of The PMA Method: Stronger, Leaner, Fitter in 14 Days (aster, £15), and ellie Goulding’s personal trainer. “pma is a state of mind,” he says. “it’s seizing the opportunity, believing in yourself, challenging the negative voices, loving the life you’ve been given and having fun.”

5

We become more adventurous

We’re a generation of thrill-seekers. from the buzz of starting a new business to the adrenaline of adventure travel, it’s women in their prime leading the way. an incredible 43% of entrepreneurs are over 50, according to the office for National statistics. and clients aged 50-70 make up the biggest group of go-for-it globetrotters (40%), says the adventure travel trade association. “adventure travellers crave transformative experiences, and are actively motivated by this desire for personal growth and change,” the report found. Rebecca Rhodes agrees. “We’re not anticipating retirement; instead, we’re looking forward to our second and third wave,” she says. “adventure, appetite and ambition are key, and we have the resources to fuel our desires. Women over 50 have the greatest assets and highest net worth of any group in the uK.”

6 sex gets better and more meaningful

sex can get buried under a long-term relationship, particularly in the exhausting years of career maintenance and child rearing, but the good news is that we can come out the other side feeling more powerful and sensual than ever. “our libido can be just as strong as we get older – think of the divorcees who start dating and reinvigorate their sex lives,” says emily power smith, sex therapist at empowersme.com. “We’ve learned not to aspire to an idealised image of how we should look, so we feel more comfortable in our own skin. We also have a better idea of what turns us on.” according to emily, experience and confidence allow us to express our desires to a partner, while the ease factor of longer-term relationships mean we naturally engage in more “connected sex”, in which eye-gazing, kissing and cuddling all create closeness. “Habit is a huge factor in a satisfying sex life,” emily says. “and it’s amazing what going to bed naked will do for your sex life. ditch the cosy pJs, slip between the sheets without expectation and see what happens.”

7 We become less argumentative

oh yes, we do! or at least, we’re better at making our point in a constructive way. “younger people tend to think of the world in black and white; life shows us that there are often grey areas. We also develop tolerance and compassion, and we’re more likely to cut them some slack,” says andrew G marshall, relationship therapist and author of It’s Not a Midlife Crisis,

It’s an Opportunity (marshall method publishing, £12.99). in situations when we need to argue our corner, his advice is to report how we feel, rather than acting it out. “instead of slamming the door, say how you feel and listen to the other person’s response.”

Rather than a full-on row, it’s the start of a constructive conversation. w&h