SAYING GOODBYE TO A STRANGER

Fear you’ll be shamed for mourning a celebrity? Here’s how to manage.

1

DON’T DEVALUE YOUR GRIEF You may feel awkward about feeling bereft over a celebrity’s death, but denying your feelings will only make you feel worse. ‘Grief is grief, regardless of who or what you are grieving – we can

grieve dreams, lost treasured items, life stages,’ says Anna. ‘Feeling shame around your grief may prevent you from reaching out, but be aware that any previous mental health vulnerabilities can be stirred up. This is normal and, therefore, it’s important to monitor how you feel so that you can seek support.’ Be honest with yourself and those you trust, and admit that you’re struggling.

2

CONNECT WITH ‘REAL-LIFE’ PEOPLE

Avoid the naysayers! Noel suggests not talking to anyone you feel may mock you. ‘Self-protection is key,’ he says. Instead, focus on friends and family who you know to be sympathetic. ‘While you may feel misunderstood by some close to you, everyone can relate to a sense of loss or grief in some respect, so ensure that you have relationships in which your grief is validated and understood, be it online or offline,’

adds Anna. ‘Consider ways to build

more enjoyable experiences around

this grief – while a friend may not fully

understand your feelings, they may be able to engage in an enjoyable

activity with you.’

3

LIMIT COMMUNAL SHARING ‘While it can be affirming and comforting, witnessing a vast outpouring of parasocial grief can intensify feelings,’ says Anna. ‘You’ll certainly not be alone in your sadness and pain, but it might help to set a time restriction around how much you scroll through forums or commemorative

pages.’

4

HAVE A MOURNING RITUAL

Death rituals have been around since time immemorial, and can help us to acknowledge our grief, and honour those we cared about. ‘Some examples are going to a special place you associate with the person and laying flowers for them; writing a letter to them and burning it to allow the symbolic transformation of matter to another state; or seeking spiritual guidance, such as lighting candles in church,’ says Noel. ‘Search the internet for examples of mourning

rituals.’

5

REACH OUT FOR HELP

Still struggling? ‘Grief takes time but its intensity should fade after a few months,’ says Noel. If you continue to experience symptoms such as low mood or anxiety, you may have become depressed, so see your GP. ‘I’d highly recommend therapy in order to be supported through grief and explore what might be interrupting the grief process,’ adds Anna. ‘Grief and loss trigger other experiences of grief and loss.

If you feel like your feelings are more than you expected, it may be

that your loss has exacerbated

feelings around other losses you

have experienced.’

‘Ensure that you have

relationships in which your grief

is validated and understood’