“I was devastated by my divorce but friends helped me find a way back”
Alexandra rock, 51, has two children, a daughter,
CJ, who is 20, and a son, rufus, 16. she lives in south london and is the co-founder of rock & ruddle, a company that makes natural bristle hairbrushes
some curveballs in life come at you in a slow arc, others are lobbed from left field with devastating force. in hindsight, there were clues that all was not well, but when my husband left i was overwhelmed by self-doubt and sadness, and a crushing sense of guilt for my children who were six and ten.
this was born out of my own experience. my mother died when i was 12 and my father, a difficult man, who often worked abroad, sent me to boarding school. i grew up like harry potter – happier at school or staying with friends than i was at home. when i married, i was determined to provide a loving and stable environment, and gave up my marketing career to be at home for our children.
the fact that their happy home life was shattered was heartbreaking. i felt i’d let them down and was a failure.
For five years after our separation things were really bad. i managed to hold on to the house, and retrained as a nutritionist to make ends meet but financially things were very tight.
my friends helped me through. one advised me to write lists of things i felt grateful for, and exercises like this allowed me to see that there were still good things in life. once my divorce came through, i began to feel stronger. when i lost my favourite hairbrush, the search to replace it revealed a gap in the market for a product combining gorgeous design and natural quality. with a friend from my marketing days, jackie ruddle, i launched rock & ruddle, a range of beautiful, natural bristle hairbrushes, which has gone from strength to strength.
going through the divorce was terrible but it made me independent and more confident, and able to be honest in relationships. three years ago i met a new partner, david, and we’re very happy. i didn’t have a choice about my marriage ending, but i’ve learned that if you just keep counting the positives, things will turn around. rockandruddle.co.uk >>