I can’t stand her man

We recently booked a holiday cottage close to where an old friend lives. Having only met her new husband at their wedding a year ago, we invited them both to join us for a day, and I was looking forward to it.

But from the word go, he talked over my friend, then, at lunch, drank too much and argued with her. He also refused to go for a walk but wouldn’t let her go either. They left after tea, with him clearly in a foul mood. I want to stay friends with her, but I never want to see him again.

Suzie says:

You’d risk the friendship by speaking up, but his behaviour has risked it already. And while it’s always tricky to put concerns about someone’s partner into words, the number of times I’ve helped abused partners who say, ‘I wish someone had said something!’ is legion.

So tell her you were upset at behaviour that seemed controlling and even abusive. Explain that you want to remain friends and would be there if she wants your support, but you would not want to see him again, unless you’d heard he had not only apologised to her but sought therapy for his behaviour.