‘I thought I’d like my new independence’
melanie Jones, 40, lives in London and runs melaniejonespr. com. She has three children, malcolm, 23, muryah, 21, and Isaiah, 15.
My house has always been hectic. With the children rushing in and out from football practice or bringing their friends round for dinner, there was never a quiet moment. As my oldest two started planning to go to university, I found myself quite looking forward to a bit of peace! I envisaged saying goodbye to arguments over the remote and always pestering them to tidy their rooms.
Malcolm was going to study engineering at Birmingham but took a year out, which meant that come September 2015, he left at the same time as Muryah, who was going to Kent to study criminology and psychology.
Of course, there were tears as I kissed them goodbye, but I was so proud. It was only when they sent me pictures of their new flats that it dawned on me – they were starting a new life, without me.
I consoled myself with the fact that I still had Isaiah, then 14. But without his siblings, the house felt eerily still.
Maybe that’s why, two weeks later, I found myself buying two kittens. ‘You’re replacing us with cats?!’ Malcolm teased when he called that night. I told him not to be silly, but I think he realised I missed them more than I was letting on.
We spoke each week and every holiday Malcolm and Muryah would come home. But just as I was adjusting to our new set-up, in September 2016, Isaiah was scouted to join a football academy in Southampton – he’d be living there during the week.
Of course, I couldn’t hold him back from such a great opportunity. But the day he left was heartbreaking. Now, instead of a mound of dirty mugs in the sink there was just one – mine. It might sound dramatic, but I felt so adrift. For the first time in years there was no more ‘us’ or ‘we,’ it was just me. It was like someone had died.
A few months later, I decided enough was enough. I couldn’t keep moping. So, I focused on my business and over time I started to focus on myself, too. I went running and saw my friends and now, looking back, I can see that the children leaving has benefitted us all.
Now when they come home I’m so much calmer, and it means we treasure the time we spend together. That’s what I hope Victoria Beckham will realise too – yes, right now she’s probably feeling bereft, but it does get easier, and it will.
‘the House felt eerily still’