‘We’re always competing’
Jo Yates, 32, lives in Surrey with her partner, Tom. With one last swipe of my racket, it’s game, set and match. As I wipe the sweat from my brow, I feel elated – I’ve won against my fiercest rival. You might think I’m competing in an international tournament, but this is no Wimbledon. The truth is, I’m at my local leisure centre, and my competitor? That’s my partner, Tom.
When Tom and I met in January 2014, as well as our shared love of live music, it was his ambition that I loved the most. Five years younger than me, at 23, he’d already got a high-flying job in PR and had plans to launch his own firm.
At the time, I was working for a health charity, but my real passion was taking photos. I’d always wanted to do wedding photography and, while I’d had a few bookings, I was far from professional.
I was in awe of Tom’s success and, as he got promoted every few months, I’d beam as we toasted with bubbly. But soon, his constant pay rises became frustrating and congratulations were said through gritted teeth. I was still working my nine to five, while also trying to get my photography business up and running. I couldn’t help but feel jealous. Younger than me, Tom was more wealthy, more successful. It felt so unfair.
At first, I didn’t say anything – I felt guilty. Shouldn’t I be proud of my partner’s achievements? But Tom could tell something was wrong and, reluctantly, I told him the truth.
I worried he’d be hurt, even annoyed, but always so supportive, Tom made me realise that I could harness my jealousy into something positive. Rather than resent him, I could try and better him!
So I became determined to be a full-time wedding photographer. It was hard, but after setting up a website and social-media pages, my diary was soon fully booked. Two years on, I’ve quit my job at the charity and I do photography full-time.
I still feel envious towards Tom, but it only encourages me to update my website and book back-to-back weddings, even if I feel like having a break. And now, it’s not just in our professional lives where we find ourselves competing. At the gym, I won’t leave until I’ve run further than him and, if we play Scrabble, I’ll give up if I think I’m losing!
We managed to turn jealousy into a positive – it’s a shame Jamie and Louise haven’t done the same. ✱ joannanicolephotography.com
‘Jealousy spurred me on’