Real Life My husband’s best friend is a woman!
Would you mind if your other half had a close relationship with another woman?
‘SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL’
Claire Gayle, 45, lives in Birmingham with her husband mike, 47, and their daughters, olivia, 15, and Ruby, 11.
we’ve all seen the romantic comedies, where the female lead has a male best friend and – surprise, surprise – it turns out she’s secretly in love with him. The ending’s always the same. The pals finally become lovers and live happily ever after. Imagine, then, how I felt when my new boyfriend Mike kept dropping another woman’s name into the conversation. When I probed a little further, he cheerfully announced, ‘Oh, you’ll love Jackie – she’s my best friend.’ I wasn’t exactly thrilled. And it didn’t help when he handed me a photograph of an extremely beautiful young woman. It’s every woman’s nightmare.
And so, the next time Jackie’s name cropped up, I asked Mike, as casually as possible, if there had ever been anything besides friendship between them. ‘Never,’ he said, as though the idea was inconceivable.
He explained that they’d met in sixth form in 1988 and bonded over their love of music. At the time, Mike had a girlfriend so, from the start, romance wasn’t an option. There was a point when they found themselves single at the same time but, by then, they felt more like siblings.
Was I reassured? Absolutely not. When Jackie and I met at a music festival four months later, I discovered that, as well as being beautiful, she had a wonderful personality. There wasn’t a single reason why they wouldn’t make an amazing couple.
Thankfully, my relationship with Mike went from strength to strength, and he proposed less than a year into the relationship. When he said he’d asked Jackie to be ‘best man’ at our wedding, it was a defining moment.
Suddenly, I was able to see their relationship for exactly what it is – a wonderfully strong bond that utterly defies society’s belief that men and women can’t be the best of friends. There wasn’t going to be a final plot twist – Mike didn’t secretly harbour romantic feelings for Jackie. I often wondered whether I should try to develop a close friendship with Jackie myself. But over time, we settled into a comfortable pattern where I just left them both to it.
I can still remember seeing Mike proudly pass our week-old baby daughter to Jackie to hold for the first time. It struck me then that if anything should ever happen to me, Jackie would drop everything to be there for Mike and our family.
There are definitely three of us in my relationship, but I get a great deal out of that. I think Mike’s kinder and a more caring man for having had a female best friend since he was little. And that’s a plot twist for which I am deeply grateful.