‘I’m fighting to protect all children’
Chris Tuck was a victim of child sexual abuse, and that’s why she’s supporting the Truth Project’s work to protect kids in the future
Clinging desperately to my mother’s clothes, I begged her not to leave. Aged only seven, I could scarcely believe she was really going. But her suitcase was packed and she was walking briskly away from our home, from her four children – and my father’s violence and affairs.
‘I can’t take any more,’ she told me. ‘I’ll come back for you soon.’
The terrible sense of abandonment is one of my earliest memories. And from that day on, my life spiralled downwards.
Soon my Dad married one of our neighbours, who had a family of her own. Our home life was chaotic and Dad didn’t seem to care about us. We went to school hungry and dirty.
Vulnerable, neglected children like me were an easy target for abusers. Aged nine, I was ‘groomed’ by a school minibus driver who gave me and other kids sweets and let us sit in the minibus out of the cold. At last I felt special, as if someone cared.
But biding his time, the driver eventually lured us back to his house and sexually assaulted us. When I found the courage to speak out, it led to a traumatic visit to the police station with an internal examination. As far as I know, no further action was taken against the driver, and he is now dead.
None of the adults in my life helped me, or even asked if I was OK. Quite the opposite – I was accused of being a liar. Like the time I wrote a story at school about what life was like at home – being hit, sent straight up to my room as soon as I got home, not enough to eat…
‘Is this all true?’ my teacher asked, aghast. When I didn’t reply, scared of being told off, she snapped: ‘You have an overactive imagination and it’ll get you into trouble one day.’
Life got even worse when my father was jailed for child sexual abuse. My stepmother had reported him to the police who broke the door down to arrest him one day after I got back from school.
After that, I shrank from other people. At school, I wouldn’t speak in class, hid all the time, and was scared of everyone. No wonder I was mercilessly bullied and shunned by the other kids.
‘Your dad’s a paedophile,’ one taunted. I didn’t know what that meant, but everyone was talking about it, leaving me feeling more isolated and despised than ever.
More trouble
We had a social worker, but we knew when they were coming so we were properly dressed and there was food on the table on those days. When I tried to tell the social worker about our miserable life, I wasn’t believed.
On the rare occasions when I went to another child’s house, I was astonished to see their parents being loving and kind, toys to play with, lots of food… I’d had had no experience of a settled family life.
I was sure that things would be better when, aged 11, Mum was able to have me and my siblings to live with her again. She had remarried, but our hopes of a happier home came to nothing.
Despite my traumatic childhood, I had a vision of what my life could be like. So I worked hard at school, got qualifications, and ended up as an accountant. But child sexual abuse
‘Speaking out can be a huge relief’ Dr Bryony Farrant, Psychologist to the Inquiry
never leaves you. I should never have been in such a vulnerable position.
When I had my own son, aged 28, I knew I could never, ever hurt him. How had the adults in my life let me down so badly?
It was a trigger to re-evaluating my career. I retrained as a fitness coach, and introduced fitness therapy to the psychiatric hospital where I’d been a business manager.
On walks with patients, I quickly realised how valuable it was for them to open up and talk about the past.
Sometimes I shared my own experiences when it felt appropriate to do so, and many people told me it had helped them.
I became a campaigner about the impact of child sexual abuse, which affects one in 20 children in the UK.* It’s also estimated that one child in three who is sexually abused by an adult does not tell anyone.* That means the true figure is likely to be much higher.
In 2015 I became involved with the Independent Inquiry into Child Sexual Abuse. It’s looking into institutional failures to protect children from sexual abuse in England and Wales.
Ending evil
By joining its Victims and Survivors Consultative Panel, I am helping to ensure the perspective of victims and survivors is included in all aspects of the Inquiry’s work.
That’s where the Truth Project comes in. It’s offering people who’ve suffered sexual abuse as children the chance to share their experiences.
It’s a big ask. But the Truth Project is a once-in-a-lifetime chance to be part of creating a safer future for all children.
We want the Inquiry to be aware of our experiences so they will have a full picture, from which they’ll be able to draft recommendations that are so robust, the government will have no choice but to implement them.
If you have an experience to share, please come forward. Many people find talking about what has happened to them can help them move forward. We have to end this evil – and the Truth Project is a once-in-a-lifetime chance to do just that.