I’m really dreading the wedding His grandchild takes his money
Mum-of-two Anita Naik has been an agony aunt for 25 years
QI feel terribly sad about my current situation. I’m 59 years old and divorced. My husband left me eight years ago for someone I have never met. He never apologised or made an effort to discuss it with me, and it’s left me feeling very bitter. Now our son is getting married in September and has told me he’s invited the two of them, and I am heartbroken. This is meant to be a happy day for me, but instead it’s going to be the first time I’ve seen them together as a couple and I am dreading it. Name and address withheld
AEven though it’s breaking your heart, deep down, you know your son is entitled to have his dad at his wedding. What you have to do, therefore, is make a bad situation tolerable by initiating contact with your ex-husband and his partner before the wedding day.
Suggest a meeting prior to your son’s big day and get all the difficult stuff out of the way. It doesn’t have to be a big showdown or a huge chat, just a simple hello so you are all comfortable with each other come the wedding day.
QI am in my late sixties and have been seeing a man for the last year. We are happy except for one thing – his grandson, who is 16. Never have I met such a rude, spoilt teen. All he wants is money from his granddad – which he gets. I must have my feelings written over my face, because my partner always apologises for this boy. A.J, 67, Kent
AAs it seems your partner knows what his grandson is like, then regrettably, there’s not much you can do, besides keeping out of the way when the boy is around.
Obviously, try to counsel your partner about the money aspect, suggesting that he reins it in; but tread carefully as you don’t want to turn this into a conflict when it doesn’t have to be one.