From the heart: We’re watching our lives on Coronation Street
Jan Bones, 56, and her husband had spent years coping with his illness when they got an unusual request
‘It felt like a timebomb had been set in our lives, a ticking clock that was counting down’
As newlyweds, Richard and I loved nothing more than to snuggle up in front of the TV and watch the latest episode of Coronation
Street. But recently I’d noticed my husband had been looking more tired than normal.
‘What’s the matter, love?’ I asked one evening, as he slumped into his armchair. He forced a smile. ‘Oh, it’s nothing,’ he said. ‘Just a headache.’
I felt a pang of worry. Richard had been complaining about headaches for a few weeks. At first I thought it was stress. He was a hospital manager and worked long hours. Only now, the headaches were getting more persistent. ‘You must get them checked out,’ I said. Working as a nurse, it was hard not to worry.
Then, a few months later, Richard and I found our lives turned upsidedown when I realised I was pregnant. It was November 1980 and we were so thrilled. We’d only married the year before and with me aged 19 and Richard 20, we felt truly blessed. But as we threw ourselves into preparing for the baby, shopping for a cot and picking out paint samples for the nursery, I noticed Richard struggling to read the labels.
Shocking results
‘I think there’s something wrong with my eyesight,’ he confessed. ‘My vision keeps blurring.’ And he was still having those terrible headaches. I was six months pregnant when Richard finally went to see the GP. He was referred to a neurologist for further tests and, a few weeks later, I went with him to hear the results.
As we waited in the doctor’s office, I could see the worry etched across my husband’s face. I tried to reassure him it would be OK, but when we were told Richard had multiple sclerosis (MS), we went into shock.
Neither of us knew much about MS, but the doctor explained that it was a disease that affected mobility and movement by damaging the nerve cells in the brain and spinal cord. It was incurable and degenerative, which meant the symptoms would only get worse.
Richard was so young, about to become a father. How could he be so ill? The doctor explained that it was likely to take years for the symptoms to develop but to me it felt like a timebomb had been set in our lives, a ticking clock that was counting down, threatening everything.
The next day, I went to the library to find out more. I saw a picture of a person sitting in a wheelchair on the
front cover of one of the books. A ball of panic rose in my chest as I imagined my own husband wheelchair-bound, unable to stand or walk. Instinctively my hand moved to my bump – would Richard even be able to pick up our baby?
It was easy to let fear take over but that night Richard and I sat together and talked it through. We both agreed that while Richard was still healthy we’d put the MS to the back of our minds and get on with our lives.
That summer, in June 1981, our son Michael was born, followed by our daughter Emma in March 1984. Life with a new family was busy and
others. As a family, we dealt with our fair share of thoughtless comments from people who didn’t understand the disease. So when we received an email from the MS Society asking if anyone would like to speak to the Coronation Street research team for a storyline in the soap, Richard jumped at the opportunity – he wanted to make sure the scriptwriters knew how best to portray the condition.
An education
In March 2017, we were invited to the studios in Manchester, where 12 scriptwriters, as well as the actor Richard Hawley, whose character Johnny Connor is diagnosed with the disease, asked us questions. I got to talk too, so I could tell them things from my point of view for the actress Sally Ann Matthews, who plays Johnny’s fiancée, Jenny.
We covered everything – it was cathartic getting it all out. And last week, as we settled down to watch Coronation Street just like the rest of the nation, we both remarked how strange it was to watch intimate parts of our life being acted out, like when Johnny trips and falls in the street.
Richard’s diagnosis has had a big impact on all our family. But we’ve still had an incredible life together, travelling the world and raising our gorgeous children.
We’ve lived with MS in our marriage for 37 years and it’s difficult not knowing how much time we have left. It’s a cruel disease but I’m glad it’s finally being talked about in such a mainstream way like a soap. The more people who know about it and understand it, the better. Not just for Richard and our family, but for everyone affected.
For more information on MS, go to mssociety.org.uk, or call 0808 800 8000