a problem shared: our therapist anita naik tackles your concerns

Mum-of-two Anita Naik has been an agony aunt for 25 years

Q A month ago, my daughter had her first baby. We’re all excited about the new addition. I decided at the beginning to keep my distance so my daughter could get to grips with motherhood – unless she needed me – but her mother-in-law practically moved in. She does everything. I feel I’m not needed and I’ve had less time with my grandson than her. Janet, 62, Brentford A With two doting grandmas in the mix you’re always going to be stepping on each other’s toes. But this isn’t a competition – you didn’t want to be hands-on 24/7, while she does. she’s just helping her own son be a parent. talk to your daughter and ask her what she needs from you. yes her mother-inlaw is helping but she still needs her own mum and it’s likely she wants something very different from you.

Our libidos are totally out of sync

Q My partner and I have always had different sex drives. But lately I find I want sex less and less and he wants it more. I’m happy about once a month but he’d like it every other day. I know he’s hurt when I say no but I can’t help how I feel. Jenny, 54, Herts A it’s very common for one partner to have a lower or higher libido than the other and this can leave you both feeling rejected and misunderstood. Just be very honest about why you’re saying no and be clear that it’s not about him. At the same time think of compromises that keep you both happy so that’s it’s not all or nothing.