a prob­lem shared: our ther­a­pist anita naik tack­les your con­cerns

Mum-of-two Anita Naik has been an agony aunt for 25 years

Woman's Own - - Woman’s Own Welcome - Con­tact Anita Send your ques­tions to askanita@timeinc.com Fol­low her on Twit­ter @Ani­tanaik Or go to ani­tanaik.com

Q A year ago my hus­band died. He was only 43 and I miss him so much, as do our chil­dren who are 11 and 13. We’re all try­ing to be strong but I find sim­ple things – like mak­ing a cup of tea – have me in tears and can set me back again. I even end up cry­ing at work. My par­ents and friends tell me that it’s time to get on with life but this makes me feel even more alone.

Gemma, 43, Lon­don

A Peo­ple of­ten want us to re­cover from grief far quicker than is re­al­is­tic, be­cause grief scares them and they don’t know how to help. There’s no right or wrong way to grieve and no time frame to ex­press it within. You and your chil­dren need to talk to a be­reave­ment coun­sel­lor who can help you ex­press your grief and learn to live with your loss. Your GP can re­fer you to one or con­tact cruse be­reave­ment care on 0808 808 1677.

He’s en­gaged to some­one else

Q Nearly two years ago I broke up with my long-standing part­ner. We’d been to­gether for 10 years and split be­cause he had a one night stand. I al­ways thought we’d some­how end up back to­gether, but now he’s en­gaged to some­one else and I feel com­pletely heart­bro­ken all over again.

Sa­man­tha, 37, Lon­don

A While it’s com­pletely nat­u­ral to feel hurt be­cause you were keep­ing your fin­gers crossed for rec­on­cil­i­a­tion, you haven’t been a cou­ple for quite a while. This means that the dev­as­ta­tion is down to the fact that his en­gage­ment has crushed your hopes – rather than you want­ing to be with him. While this is painful, see it as a sign that it’s time for you to move on and find some­one who can give you the re­la­tion­ship you want.

There is no right or wrong way to grieve

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