a problem shared: our therapist anita naik tackles your concerns

Mum-of-two Anita Naik has been an agony aunt for 25 years

Q My sister and I fell out 15 years ago on her wedding day. Even though I was right – her ex did end up being a liar and a cheat – she still maintains that I ruined her big day. In turn, I still feel hurt that’s she never admitted that I was speaking the truth to try to help her. She’s since moved to Australia and we have no contact, but she’ll be back this year for Christmas – the first time in seven years. I’m dreading it, what can I do? Nikki, 42, Essex

A There are a number of things you can do to make this situation easier for both of you. either you can send an email asking for a truce and suggest you both put the past behind you, or you send an email and explain why you still feel so upset and hope she gives you the response you want. my feeling is that the first option is best until you meet in person. Once you are together you can gauge what’s worth saying and what’s not – once and for all.

My children won’t grow up!

Q My adult children all live at home and, while I love being around them, it’s not easy having them here. I am 59 years old, I work full time, and yet I find myself cooking, cleaning and driving them around. They all work (they are in their 20s) and yet none of them help me or their dad around the house. Help! Tina, 59, Cheshire A is it that your grown children live at home or that your grown children behave like children while living at home that’s getting you down? i suspect it’s the latter. you should not be doing their laundry, cooking daily meals and ferrying them about. Set some house rules and stop enabling them to behave this way.