The way I see it: Should you tell the truth about Santa? Two mums give their views on St Nick
A magical part of Christmas, or silly make-believe? These two mothers give their views on the jolly bearded man in the red suit...
YES ‘I expect my kids to be honest, so I have to be in return’
Watching my little ones bounce excitedly in their pushchair as we neared the toy aisle of the supermarket, I could feel my anxiety rising. ‘Santa! Santa!’ they chorused, pointing to their favourite toys. I knew exactly what they were thinking.
It was December 2007, and being a single mum to Dajaun, then three, and Ashiya, two, I knew I’d never be able to afford the presents they were expecting ‘from Santa’ this Christmas.
It didn’t help that other mums were constantly whipping up their expectations. ‘And what do you want from Father Christmas?’ they’d ask, with knowing smiles.
Just imagining my children’s devastation as they rushed downstairs on the 25 December to find Santa hadn’t brought what they wanted made me feel sick. But I refused to plunge my family into debt for the sake of makebelieve. So I made the difficult decision to tell them the truth about Santa – that he wasn’t real.
Telling the truth
I waited until the next time they asked for presents and, as we sat in the living room, I explained calmly that Father Christmas didn’t exist and it was Mummy who bought the presents for them – so I couldn’t get everything they wanted. It wasn’t easy seeing that childish sense of wonder flee from their adorable little faces. But it was better than lying and them being disappointed.
My family were shocked. ‘How could you tell a toddler the truth about Santa!’ my mother cried. ‘You’re such a grinch,’ my sister added. But I knew I was right. I had to nip this silly lie in the bud, before it bankrupted us all. It didn’t stop us from celebrating Christmas, or giving presents. But knowing that I didn’t have to keep up the Santa Claus charade did mean I could buy less and only what they really wanted.
In fact, over the years the children became less interested in the gift-giving side of the holiday. By the time my youngest, Neyemiah arrived in 2012, I’d stopped buying presents.
The rest of the family still gave them gifts, but the kids saw it as an added extra, not the main event of the holiday. For them, the focus shifted to spending the day at Grandma’s and eating a delicious dinner.
We tell our children it’s bad to lie, but then we deceive them about the existence of Santa. It’s hypocritical. If I expect the truth from my children, I have to be honest in return. Did I rob them of their innocence? I never sensed they felt they were missing out because they didn’t believe in Santa. If anything, I think they pitied children who did.
Dajaun and Ashiya are teenagers now and well beyond the age of believing. Neyemiah is just five, but I have no regrets about telling him so young. I agree there are some things in life we need to shelter our children from. But the truth about Santa is not one of them. Instead, we should be using this time to teach them more valuable lessons, like the importance of family. Sherene Dash, 34, London
‘They pitied children who believed in Santa Claus’