Short story: Keeping a low profile
Stunning looks, high-flying careers and handsome partners – but were their lives too good to be true?
And you won’t forget there are frozen purées for her in the freezer?’ I glance down at my daughter gurgling in her high chair and am flooded with guilt.
‘Tash…’ Luke throws me a looks of affectionate exasperation. ‘Just go! Ivy and I will be fine.’
He kisses my forehead. ‘Go on. You’ll miss your train.’
‘Have I told you how great you are?’ I smile up at him.
‘Well, it never hurts to hear truth repeated.’ He mock preens and I swat his arm playfully.
◆ ◆ ◆
Luke has booked me a seat, so I settle in against the train window, watching my home town slip away. I never left when the others did – I don’t know why, but I’m not sorry.
My stomach gives a little twist as I think about this reunion with my best friends from school. We haven’t been together for years now, but we’ve kept in touch. And, of course, I know about their lives through social media and, because of that, my excitement is tinged with more than a few feelings of inadequacy. A quick glance at their profiles, and it’s not hard to see why.
Anna, the quiet one, took an accountancy apprenticeship after school and is now the youngest-ever female partner in a major accountancy firm. Her social media is littered with tags from top hotels. You know the kind I mean: ‘Anna Hopkins is at Hilton Business Hub, Manchester’. She shares articles about economics that I don’t even understand.
Hayley is the one who puts us all in the shade. After a couple of years modelling in London, she got together with Paul. I don’t exactly know what he does, but all her social-media posts come from places like Dubai.
Then there’s Jess. The brightest of us all, she achieved a first-class degree at university but also met Matt there. They married and have been happily ensconced on a West Country smallholding ever since. Her posts are about hens, homegrown food and all the crafts she does with her three gorgeous children.
I tend to keep a low profile because, you see, there’s nothing special about me. I’m just Tash. I’m starting to think this reunion was a terrible idea…
◆◆◆
‘Tash! Tash!’ Anna is looking svelte in a black business suit. ‘Thank goodness you’re here! I can’t find a concierge desk and there aren’t any reception staff around to check us in.’
‘I think we have to ring a bell..?’ I venture.
This is clearly not the kind of place she usually stays. I suspect it was booked diplomatically with Jess and me in mind.
Just as we’re signing in, there’s a flurry of movement. Two extra staff appear from nowhere as Hayley walks in. Oblivious to their attentions, she steps between them.
‘Darlings! What a brilliant idea this was – so good to see you.’
Having registered, Hayley moves off, and the staff fall over each other to carry her bags. Anna and I share a knowing smile as we stoop to shoulder our own.
We trail in her wake and then there’s a commotion of a different kind as Jess somehow manages to fall through the entrance, having evidently miscalculated the revolving door.
‘Goodness, girls, sorry I’m late!’ She’s red-faced and her hair is sticking out at disobedient angles from beneath a home-knitted hat.
Anna and I both drop bags and go to hug her. Her entourage abandoned, Hayley comes to join our circle.
The quartet is complete.
◆◆◆
They say the test of true friendship is when you don’t see each other for ages and still immediately connect when you do. That’s certainly the case for us. Pizzas are pretty much finished and we’re well into wine and reminiscences.
‘Gosh,’ Hayley groans. ‘I thought I’d never get over him – he broke my poor teenage heart.’
‘Yes,’ Jess agrees. ‘But just look where you ended up. He did you a favour, really, that Andrew Bradshaw.’
‘I suppose.’ Hayley swallows a large mouthful of wine and I wonder whether it’s the light that makes me think her face is frowning behind the glass.
‘Andrew Bradshaw…’ Jess sighs and giggles. ‘I wonder what he’s doing now?’
‘He’s probably suited, stressed and being unfaithful to his wife,’ Anna says. We all stare at her. ‘Sorry,’ She looks embarrassed. ‘It’s just… I see too much of that at work.’
Another silence. Jess speaks to fill it. ‘Wasn’t he captain of the cricket team? Andrew Bradshaw, I mean?’
‘I’m starting to think this reunion was a terrible idea’
‘Yes.’ Hayley winks slyly. ‘I remember those cricket whites well.’
That breaks any tension, and we’re back to giggling.
‘To good old Andrew Bradshaw,’ Jess says, clinking her glass against Hayley’s. ‘Like I said, he did you a favour. You’ve moved onto a much better life.’ ‘Have I?’ This time we all turn to look at Hayley. Jess looks nonplussed. ‘But, Dubai…? Those beaches…?’
‘Oh, yes. But after you’ve lazed on one exotic beach, they’re all the same.’
‘I’d like the chance to find out,’ I say, thinking it’s not exactly a hardship.
‘I’m always alone,’ Hayley continues. ‘Paul is usually in the middle of a deal. I’m supposed to amuse myself and pose for photos and smile at the right people.’
‘Still,’ Anna picks at her pizza crust. ‘It could be worse.’
‘I don’t have anything for myself like you do,’ Hayley says. ‘You’ve got this great career. What have I actually ever really achieved?’
‘You did a season for Dior,’ I point out, remembering the catwalk video shots. ‘Yeah, but only one.’ ‘That’s how you met Paul, isn’t it?’ ‘Yes, that’s right. He sent two dozen roses to me backstage.’ ‘Classy!’ Jess whistles. ‘He turned my head,’ Hayley says. ‘Of course, now I know he would have got his secretary to do it.’
‘Couldn’t you leave him?’ I venture. ‘If you’re so unhappy, I mean?’
For one horrible moment, I think she’s going to cry, but then she smiles instead.
‘Sad truth is I’m too cowardly. I like having pretty things. So my choice is to stay. And now you’ll all think I’m shallow.’ ‘No, we don’t.’ I rub her arm. ‘It’s your security, Hayley – we all need that.’
ÔI know!’ Jess jumps in with excitement. ‘You could be a vlogger – one of the beautiful people who talk about make-up and fashion online. Companies pay them to review stuff. All you need is a mobile and Wi-fi.’
‘You think?’ It might be my imagination, but I think I see Hayley’s eyes light up for a second.
Jess is pensive. ‘Roses… Wish I’d mastered growing them.’
‘See?’ Hayley says. ‘We all admire you, Jess. Of all of us, you make and grow things – food, bread, babies.’
‘Admire me?’ Jess almost drops her glass. ‘Gosh, don’t. I’m mostly exhausted. Matt is always out mending fences or something. I’m stuck inside with three kids under five.’
‘They’re gorgeous kids,’ Anna says, her eyes shining.
‘Yes,’ Jess says. ‘They’re my world, but I just wish there was more time for me and what I love doing. Sorry – didn’t mean to put a damper on things. I need a job! Matt and I argue about it a lot.’ There’s a pause. ‘Desserts!’ I shake the menu. ‘I reckon we all need a criminal dose of chocolate.’
A cheer ripples around the table but it’s interrupted by the shrill of Anna’s phone.
‘Sorry.’ She looks down at the screen and scowls. ‘Work. Better get it.’ She leaves. Hayley and I turn to Jess. ‘You’re so bright, you could be anything. Maybe you could work part-time?’
‘Matt couldn’t object, I suppose,’ she agrees. ‘Even women in Thomas Hardy’s time had to work to make ends meet.’
We eat our chocolate cake while Anna’s slice remains by her vacant place.
‘Sorry about that,’ she says when she returns. ‘There’s always something.’ ‘On Saturday night?’ Jess asks. ‘Always.’ Anna shrugs. ‘A bit unreasonable,’ I say, thinking I’d tell my manager to take a hike if he contacted me on a Saturday night. ‘And you’re a partner, after all…’
‘They can take it away any time.’ Her voice is a paper cut.
Now it’s Anna’s turn to look like she’s going to cry. Some kind of fun evening this is turning out to be!
‘You girls are the only true friends I have. That’s why I organised this reunion.’
‘Let’s do it regularly,’ Hayley says suddenly. ‘Real conversations are so much nicer than virtual ones.’ ‘Great idea.’ Jess places her hand on Anna’s. Hayley and I reach out so our arms form a cross on the table. ‘To real conversations!’
We all clink glasses.
◆◆◆
On the return train journey, I think how I will never be fooled into feeling inferior by social media. However perfect things look online, everyone has their problems.
Maybe our new commitment to meet up more regularly will mean our group friendship can be a force for positive change. Perhaps it will give Hayley the courage to start something for herself or help Jess back into the workforce. Only time will tell, but I hope Anna finds a better work-life balance, too.
My stomach flutters at the thought of getting back to home and my lovely Ivy and Luke. I can’t wait to see them!
THE END
Lydia Jones, 2020
‘Maybe our friendship can be a force for positive change’