‘Everything happens for a reason’

Roma Norriss, 40, is a parenting consultant and lives in Frome, Somerset. She has a 15-year-old son and a 12-year-old daughter.

It was only nine months after tying the knot with my husband in September 2015 that our marriage was over. It was a difficult time, especially as we had two young children, then seven and three, but I knew it was the right decision. As we parted ways and navigated the complex world of co-parenting, I never regretted the fact that we’d been married.

RITE OF PASSAGE

We were together happily for more than a decade before the wedding. But the idea of marriage had always meant a lot to me – I thought that it would make me feel more secure and more like a family. We had an intimate civil ceremony in a register office, followed by a big hippie wedding festival in a field in Stroud. Signing the papers, with witnesses and official documents, felt like a rite of passage, and more significant and meaningful than I’d expected. It was wonderful being

CHANGED DYNAMIC

surrounded by our loved ones too, including our two children, but it only took a few days for it to dawn on me that this was forever, and maybe there was a reason we hadn’t married sooner.

It was the act of marriage that showed me perhaps we weren’t destined to be together after all. It changed the dynamic in our relationship. Before, I’d clung on to him desperately, hoping he’d propose one day. But after becoming his wife, I felt more secure and less needy. My confidence grew, allowing me to evaluate if I really wanted to be with him, rather than needed to be. It’s what ultimately gave me the courage to end the relationship. The break-up was painful, and I felt guilty for causing him pain. But I’m a strong believer that everything happens for a reason, at the right time and place, and while my marriage was short and ended in divorce, I’ll never regret it because I learnt and grew so much.

‘I FELT MORE SECURE AND LESS NEEDY’