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QMy granddaughter was born with a very serious condition that will need several operations if she’s to survive and her future will never be without problems. We’re all in shock and I’m doing my best to support my daughter and her husband. It’s hard but, added to this, are my friends’ demands. They all want to know the latest information, to chat and to meet me. I just want to be left alone to cope with this. Why don’t they understand? Name and address withheld

AWhen something happens to someone we’re close to, we want to support them and to do the right thing for them. We often decide what that will be based on our own needs and then, without asking the other person, we do what we think is right. Our thinking and intentions are honourable but, when they miss the mark, they can cause upset.

We all respond to difficult situations differently and want our friends and family to give us the support we need. The problem is we don’t tell them and then become irritated. I’m sure if you explain to them that you need space, and that when you’re ready you’ll be in touch, they’ll understand.

If they’re old friends, they’ll be upset too and genuinely want to know how things are. Perhaps you could send a group text every few days to keep them informed and to ask for anything you might need.