Health Choices
Earlier this year I went to the engagement party of a client who had struggled with relationships for years. Next month, I’m going to the wedding of another client who has had a history of very difficult relationships.
And it’s seeing them so happy that reminds me what a rewarding job I have – working with people to help them improve their personal relationships. It was my own experience which led me here.
I married young, had two lovely children and was very happy. But 10 years later our marriage fell apart and we just didn’t know how to fix things.
Looking back, I struggled with communication and it stemmed from my childhood.
When a friend suggested I try a counselling course because I was such a good listener, I decided to give it a try. I’d been working in finance and admin all my life but didn’t enjoy it particularly.
I fitted in the four years of training around my full-time job and as soon as I started, I was hooked. Having to learn about yourself was revealing.
I realised why my own relationship hadn’t worked and I was keen to use what I’d learned to try to help others.
I qualified in 2005 and have been working with clients ever since. Over the years, similar issues come up with couples but what’s going on deeper down can be very different. Often it’s about the baggage we bring with us into relationships and that’s unique to us. It’s not easy but anybody can change if they really want to.
The best advice I can give to struggling couples is: listen to each other carefully – by not interrupting each other.
Really hear what the other person has to say without reacting. If you aren’t clear, rather than jumping in off the deep end, ask ‘Can you tell me a bit more about that?’
Even if only one of you starts to change the way you respond, it will have a positive knock-on effect on you both. For more information, visit wendycapewell.co.uk
‘My own experience led me into counselling’