Serial: The Other Me by Elizabeth Dale

Feeling determination and trepidation, Anna and Jessica searched for their birth parents

‘Don’t say who we are – we don’t know how he’ll react’

THE STORY SO FAR: When Anna and Jessica, who share the same birthday, are mistaken for each other, Anna wonders if they are twins. After all, Anna is adopted. But Jessica is sure she isn’t adopted, until she asks her mother, Evelyn, who reluctantly confirms that she is. The twins meet and immediately form a bond. When Anna’s adoptive parents, Margaret and Simon, suggest they search for their birth mother, Augusta, Jessica worries it will upset Evelyn. But then Evelyn suggests it too. So the twins travel to Augusta’s last-known address, but unfortunately she has moved. However, they meet Wendy, Augusta’s childhood friend, who immediately guesses their identity. Wendy doesn’t know where Augusta lives now – but she has the address of Paul, their birth father, if they’re interested...

Jessica smiled at Anna nervously as she parked outside the elegant terraced house. To think that last week they hadn’t even known of the other’s existence and now, maybe, they were about to meet Paul, their birth father.

While Jessica knocked on front door, Anna sniffed the crocuses growing beside it. She’d always adored crocuses. Maybe she’d inherited that from her dad?

She straightened up, but no one opened the door.

‘I guess he must be out,’ Jessica sighed after she’d knocked again.

‘Well, let’s leave a note saying we’ll call back later,’ Anna said, pulling some paper from her bag. ‘Then if he pops home, hopefully he’ll wait in for us.’

‘Don’t say who we are,’ said Jessica anxiously. ‘We don’t know how he’ll react.’

‘Don’t worry,’ Anna replied. ‘I’ll say we’re old friends of Augusta, calling while we’re in the area. And we’ll call back after two.’

‘Add your address in case we miss him altogether. Then maybe he’ll write,’ said Jessica.

‘Right,’ Anna replied, finishing and posting it through the door. ‘Now let’s get some lunch.’

They found a pub nearby and ordered sandwiches, but as they waited in the bar, they were too preoccupied with the morning’s events to eat.

‘I can’t stop looking around, wondering if one of these men is our father,’ Anna said, as they sat in the bar. ‘After all, it’s his local.’

‘Me too,’ Jessica replied. ‘And just think – our siblings could be here too. If we have any, that is.’

Anna felt her heart beating in her chest. She hadn’t even stopped to consider they might have half-brothers or sisters…

‘Come on,’ Jessica said finally, wrapping her sandwich in a napkin. ‘I’ll eat this later.

It’s nearly two. Let’s go and meet our birth father.’ As they neared the house once more, they exchanged hopeful smiles. They could hear music coming from inside. Someone was home. And when Anna knocked, the door was opened almost immediately by a tall dark-haired, middle-aged man. ‘Yes?’ ‘Sorry to trouble you,’ Anna said. ‘But are you Paul Mason?’ ‘Yes,’ he said, looking flustered. ‘Just going out!’ he called over his shoulder and stepped outside, slamming the door. ‘This way,’ he said, striding down the street. Jessica and Anna hurried after him through a gateway into a small park. Then he turned to face them, looking from one to the other. Jessica glanced anxiously at Anna. ‘I think we should introduce ourselves,’ she said. ‘I’m Jessica.’

‘And I’m Anna – we’re… We’re your daughters.’ He stared at them, shaking his head. Then his face broke into a smile. ‘You’re the very image of your mother. My longlost daughters… I can’t believe it. Can I… can I hug you?’

He opened his arms awkwardly and they all hugged. But he quickly broke away as he started to cry.

‘I’m sorry,’ he said, reaching for a hanky. ‘You don’t know how much I’ve longed for this moment.’

‘Really?’ asked Jessica through her own tears. ‘But when you opened the door you seemed…’

‘I’m so sorry,’ he said. ‘When I got your note, I wasn’t sure. I hoped it was you. But I couldn’t let my wife see you.’

‘So she doesn’t know about us?’ Anna asked.

He shook his head. ‘No.

It’s not that I’m ashamed of you, far from it. And I did plan to tell Mary. But it’s not the kind of thing you mention

when you start dating. And then, because she absolutely adores kids, we started trying for a family straight away. But Mary never got pregnant. It was such a sadness for us both. How could I possibly tell her that I’d had what she longed for and would never have – and I’d given my babies away? So we did our best to accept what life had dealt us. We’ve travelled, had rewarding careers, but,’ he shook his head, ‘there’s always been a gap. For both of us.’

‘I’m sorry,’ said Anna. He smiled weakly. ‘It’s all right. And I’m the one who should be apologising.’ He looked at them both appealingly. ‘Please forgive Augusta and me.’

‘There’s nothing to forgive,’ Anna said, squeezing his hand. ‘Honestly,’ Jessica added. ‘Really?’ he asked incredulously. ‘You mean that? Oh, your mum and I felt so guilty that we couldn’t keep you. Poor Augusta cried for weeks. But we were only 16. Kids ourselves. Our parents refused to help. It broke

Augusta’s heart to have to give you both away. The only consolation was that at least she could give joy to others who were longing for a baby, and who could give you all you needed.’

‘And she did give joy!’ said Anna. ‘Our parents are so grateful. We’ve both had happy lives.’

‘Really? Truly?’ he asked, his anxious eyes searching their faces. They both nodded. ‘Oh, I’m so relieved,’ he said. ‘Augusta will be too.’

‘Do you keep in touch?’ asked Jessica.

‘Not really. We loved each other then, so much. But as we grew older, we grew apart and she moved away, to York. We’ve always said we’d let each other know if we moved house, just in case you came looking for us. But I haven’t heard from her for years.’ He pulled out his mobile and started scrolling through it. ‘Here, I’ll give you her address. I’m sure she’ll be thrilled to meet you.’

They then chatted with Paul for over an hour. He was eager to hear everything about them, their childhoods, careers and lives now. But then he glanced anxiously at his watch and frowned.

‘I’m afraid I’ll have to get back to Mary.

I’m so delighted to have met you both.’

So soon! ‘But we’ll see you again?’ asked Jessica.

He hesitated, gazing at them, his face anguished. Then he slowly shook his head.

‘I’m terribly sorry,’ he said. ‘Much as I’d love to, Mary has to be my priority. I can’t destroy her world with this news, and it’s not fair to her if I meet you in secret. I’m so sorry. But today has been wonderful, I’ll always remember it. Always.’

Then he hugged them both and turned and left. Jessica and Anna stared after him in disbelief. They’d found their father… and then lost him.

‘I didn’t even take his photo,’ Jessica wailed after he’d gone. Why didn’t I think of that?’

‘I didn’t either,’ said Anna, hugging her. She felt devastated.

She had to do something. ‘Look,’ she said. ‘It’s only three, we could be in York before five. Let’s go and find Augusta.’ ‘Today?’ Jessica cried.

‘Yes,’ said Anna.

Jessica frowned. ‘But what if that meeting works out badly too? I can’t take another rejection.’

‘Neither can I,’ said Anna shakily. ‘And after Paul’s reaction, I’m worried about that too. But I have to know if Augusta will want to have a relationship with us. If she does, and I so hope she does, we’ll end the day well. At the moment, I just feel deflated.’

‘Me too,’ sighed Jessica. ‘OK. It’s worth a try.’

Jessica quickly texted both their parents to let them know what was happening as Anna drove them to York. They found Augusta’s place easily. Like Paul, she lived in a terraced house, but hers was older.

‘Here we go again,’ Jessica murmured, knocking on the door. And then they heard noises. Someone was in!

They both exchanged excited smiles as the door was opened. But instead of their mother, it was a man with sandy hair and a friendly face.

‘Hello?’ he asked. ‘Can I help you?’

‘Um, I’m not sure we’ve got the right house,’ said Anna. ‘We’re looking for Augusta.’

‘Oh,’ he said. ‘I’m afraid you’re too late.’

Anna’s heart sank.

‘Has she gone out?’

Jessica asked. ‘Will she be back soon?’

‘It’s just we’ve come up from the Midlands, especially,’ Anna added.

‘I’m Matthew, her husband,’ the man said. ‘Can I ask how you know her?’

Anna looked anxiously at Jessica. They’d learnt from meeting Paul that they needed to be careful.

‘Oh, from way back!’ Jessica said. ‘It’s a long story.’ ‘Come in, then,’ he said. They followed him into the lounge. There was a framed photo on the mantelpiece.

‘Is that you both?’ asked Jessica. ‘Your wedding day?’

‘Yes,’ he smiled, handing it to her. Anna studied it too.

‘What a lovely couple,’ Jessica smiled at Matthew.

‘I can’t destroy her world with this news’

‘You look so proud.’

‘I was,’ he said.

‘She’s beautiful,’ said Anna. ‘Just like her daughters,’ Matthew replied.

They both stared at him. ‘How many daughters has she got?’ Anna asked casually. ‘Just you two,’ he said. Jessica gasped. ‘You know about us?’

‘Oh yes,’ he smiled. ‘Augusta talked about you all the time, wondering how you were, what you were doing. Each year she wished you Happy Christmas, every birthday she wrote you cards, which she kept, hoping one day you’d come looking for her.’

‘Really?’ Anna smiled.

‘And here we are! When are you expecting her back?’

He frowned. ‘You’d better sit down.’

A tingle of fear ran up Anna’s spine. She shot Jessica an anxious look.

‘I’m really sorry to tell you this,’ he said. ‘Augusta died six weeks ago.’

‘No!’ Jessica gasped. ‘How?’

‘Cancer,’ he said. ‘She fought a long battle, she had such spirit, your mum. But in the end that wasn’t enough.’

He sighed heavily, fighting back the tears.

‘I’m so sorry!’ Anna said. He forced a sad smile. ‘I was so lucky. So lucky to have met her, so lucky to have had 24 happy years together.’

‘We were so close to meeting her,’ Jessica whispered. ‘I’m sorry we didn’t come before. I didn’t even know about her.’

Anna felt guilty. She had, after all. But there had never seemed to be a right time.

‘It’s OK,’ he said. ‘Augusta always said if you hadn’t come looking for her, that meant you’d had happy lives.’

‘We did,’ they both said.

‘So was she happy too?’ asked Anna. ‘Did she have a good life?’

‘Yes.’ Matthew replied. ‘She did. She was a very positive person, always counting her blessings. She lived life to the full.’

‘I wish we could have met her,’ sighed Jessica.

‘I’m sorry,’ he said. ‘At least I can tell you all about her. Let me fetch you something she left for you.’

And he fetched a big box filled with treasures – the birthday cards she’d written for them every year, their tiny Babygros, their first cuddly toys. There were photos of Augusta proudly holding them, a book of messages of love written throughout their lives and a DVD labelled ‘Message from Mum’.

‘Augusta made this for you.’ Matthew explained as he put the DVD on to play. ‘If you came, she wanted to be able to still speak to you and for you to hear her voice.’

It was the most precious thing of all. There was her face, her smile, her soft but clear voice. Tears rolled down the twins’ faces as they heard Augusta explain her turmoil as she’d longed to keep them, her guilt that she couldn’t, her wish to give them the best life possible, and her hopes and dreams for their future. It was wonderful, and so moving.

Afterwards, the twins spent hours talking to Matthew, learning all about Augusta and their life together.

Finally, at nine, they left, with promises to meet again soon.

‘You’re my family too,’ Matthew told them. ‘You’re welcome here any time.’

‘What a day,’ sighed Jessica, as they drove away.

‘I can’t imagine life without you two in it’

‘We’ve met a stepdad who wants to see us again and a biological father who doesn’t.’ Her face crumpled. ‘And we missed meeting our mum by weeks.’

Anna stopped the car and hugged her. ‘Let’s focus on the positive,’ she said. ‘She had a happy life, we can see Matthew again, and he’ll tell us so much more. And above all, we know that our mum truly loved us.’

When Jessica and Anna told their parents the outcome of their search, they were very sad to hear of Augusta’s death and how Paul had distanced himself from them.

Over the next few weeks, the twins grew even closer as they helped each other come to terms with both revelations, consoling each other that Matthew would provide an invaluable link to their birth mother. And when Anna suggested holding a little party for their parents to meet, it gave them both something to look forward to. As the forecast was good and the day dawned sunny, they went ahead with the brave decision to have a barbecue in Anna’s garden. The gettogether started well. Anna’s parents and Jessica’s mum got on instantly, swapping stories of when the girls were young. And then, suddenly, Jessica noticed someone peering at them from the gate. ‘Oh, my word!’ she cried. Anna turned. ‘Paul?’ she gasped.

‘Sorry to barge in,’ he said,

looking awkward as Anna opened the garden gate and ushered him in.

‘What are you doing here?’ ‘I couldn’t stop thinking about you after we met that day. I knew as soon as I’d left the park I’d made a huge mistake. I can’t imagine life without you two in it.’

Jessica glanced at Anna. ‘But your wife?’ she asked.

‘I’ve told her,’ he said quietly. ‘And, though it was a shock, Mary’s delighted for me. She feels, as I do, that you’re the family we never had. She really supports me being part of your life. In fact, she’d like to be part of it too, if that’s OK?’

Anna gave him a shaky smile and Jessica nodded. ‘Of course it is.’

Together they hugged their father, bringing him to be introduced to their parents.

Anna stood gazing at her new, extended family, trying to take it all in. She’d been surrounded by love before, but now she was bathed in so much more. How bittersweet life was. In such a short space of time she’d found her twin sister and birth father, and discovered she’d been too late to reconnect with her birth mother. That was hard.

But, thanks to Matthew and Paul and their memories of Augusta, she knew she’d grow closer to her. She was so lucky. And, above all, she had found her twin. As Jessica caught her eye and raised her glass, Anna counted her blessings.

Life was good – and it was going to get even better.

THE END

Elizabeth Dale, 2021