COUPLES WHO TRAIN TOGETHER...
Stay together? Definitely. Maybe. As a growing number of couples put their racing hearts and clammy palms down to dual exercise of the PG kind, WH investigates if the notion of ‘swolemates’ is worth falling for
As I’m jogging (/walking/limping) my way around a car park, I spot the guy I’m dating running (/racing/sprinting) towards me from the other direction. I try to speed up, wondering whether he’ll hear Miley Cyrus blaring through my earbuds. He gets within less than a metre’s range and for a second I think he’s going to kiss me. Instead, he stops, pulls a face and mouths, ‘You look awful,’ before setting off again. As traditional romance goes, red faces and panting may be the order of the day (or, er, night) – but sports bras and cycling shorts are rarely celebrated for their powers of seduction. Yet, according to a study by Indiana University, when it comes to achieving romantic bliss and a killer bod, they’re actually a match made in heaven. Researchers found that 93% of individuals who work out as a couple will see their exercise goals through to completion (versus 57% of solo sweaters). And it’s a benefit that seems to be catching on, with #swolemates – a rather nauseating hashtag that references the swollen effect of all that coupled training on your muscles – amassing more than half a million shares on Instagram. So while racing my date may feel like an exercise in humiliation, it looks like breaking a sweat with your significant other is this season’s trendiest shortcut to maximise fitness gains. ‘I train with my girlfriend four to six times a week,’ says Nikki Brooks, 29, a social services support officer from Hull, who met her partner Kayleigh, a PT, in the gym a couple of years ago. ‘I believe it’s one of the reasons our relationship, not to mention our muscles, is so strong. When we started dating, we were seeing each other at the gym every day, too, so exercising together has always been part of our dynamic. If one of us were to stop caring about fitness, I don’t know what it would do to our romantic relationship. But in the meantime, it works.’
SHARED GOALS
Dr Sophia Jowett, a psychology professor at Loughborough University and one of the researchers behind Tandem Performance – a relationship tool that analyses the efficacy of different pairings in sport – isn’t surprised when couples find that exercise brings them closer together. After all, it’s been proven that partners who exercise as a duo report increased levels of satisfaction within their relationship – thought to be because working towards a shared goal can bring you closer together and creates a shared sentiment of achievement. One study, conducted way back in 1974, even went so far as to suggest that working out could essentially trick you into feeling attracted to someone, because the side effects – think sweaty hands, breathlessness and a racing pulse – are similar to those of romantic arousal. And non-verbal mimicry plays a part, too. By keeping pace with your partner, or repeating the same actions at the same time, you’re subconsciously more likely to feel connected. ‘I wouldn’t say exercise will make you fall in love with someone,’ Dr Jowett clarifies. ‘But there is evidence that it could serve as a means of creating strong bonds.’ And the advantages don’t end there. According to Dr Jowett, exercising with a partner may also make you fitter faster. ‘Your body benefits when you diversify your exercise regimen,’ she says. ‘When you’re on your own, it can be tempting to stick to what you know, but with someone else, social etiquette forces you to try to accommodate their wants and needs.’ Then there’s the
‘EXERCISING WITH YOUR PARTNER CAN MAKE YOU FITTER FASTER’
PERFORMANCE ANXIETY
Nevertheless, not everyone finds the experience quite so positive. Relationship expert and psychologist Alycia Scott says exercise raises our natural levels of the neurotransmitter adrenaline, which can
Köhler Effect – the idea that the pressure of maintaining standards in front of others and the evolutionary drive to avoid humiliation or be left behind sees you raise your game – making you lift heavier, run faster and push yourself further than you would on your own. One study saw paired-up participants plank for 200% longer than their solo counterparts – because they didn’t want to let down their plus-one. ‘Admittedly, there’s no evidence to suggest romance has a part to play in this,’ Dr Jowett concedes. ‘But you only have to watch TV shows like Love Island to see that there’s some psychological drive to take things to extremes when we want to impress someone. Plus, by exercising with your partner, not only do you get the feel-good factor of having broken a sweat, but you also get to spend time with someone you care about – it’s a two-birds-one-stone scenario.’
lead to a higher risk of arguments, especially within couples, where natural social boundaries are already blurred. ‘Think about how you might snap at your partner, but bite your tongue when talking to a friend,’ she says. ‘If you’re working out together and feeling frustrated because it’s not going as planned, then tensions are even more likely to occur.’ Her theory is backed up by a study published in Cognition And Emotion, which saw test subjects who were injected with adrenaline begin to pull more negative facial expressions than those who maintained low adrenaline levels. They also reported higher levels of stress and more intensely negative memories. For Sophie Hines, 29, a digital producer from London, that all sounds depressingly familiar – right down to the scowling. ‘When I met Sam, he was a keen cyclist and, while I worked out regularly in the gym, I didn’t even own a bike,’ she recalls. ‘I thought that training together would mean lots of romantic bike rides through the countryside – getting fitter together while bonding over the shared sense of achievement.’ Instead, the experience saw Sophie accrue bruises and punctures in quick succession, while Sam looked on in a state of increasingly strained patience. ‘I just kept falling off,’ says Sophie. ‘The more I pushed myself to keep up with him, the more I’d injure myself. I spent the whole time grouchily muttering to myself and feeling annoyed or ashamed because I wasn’t as good as I thought I was, and frustrated at Sam for being naturally faster. The fact that our relationship withstood that could be seen as a sign of how strong we are as a couple – to be honest, I’m amazed we didn’t kill each other.’
LEVEL THE PLAYING FIELD
The trick, apparently, comes down to assessing exactly what you want to achieve from your relationship – and your workouts. ‘If one of you is fitter, you might want to assess whether you’re both comfortable with that power imbalance,’ says Dan Barnes, who specialises in couples’ personal training. ‘There’s the potential for negative feelings to arise, such as jealousy, insecurity or even guilt about slowing your partner down. In that case, finding an impartial mediator like a third workout buddy or a coach might help to diffuse the tension.’ Picking up a new regimen altogether can also work. ‘Start your workouts independently, then reunite after a certain point,’ Barnes suggests. Nikki agrees that the secret of progressing from soulmates to ‘swolemates’ often comes down to establishing an exercise routine that places both partners on an equal playing field. ‘Despite the fact that we bonded over boxing, I still can’t spar with Kayleigh because we either break down into giggles, or we take it too seriously and get mad at each other,’ she explains. ‘She’s also much better than me – which I don’t actually mind. I used to be about 8st heavier than I am now, and I lost most of that weight through kettlebell training. Kayleigh is weaker at that than I am – which I know she hates – so I’ve learned to do that part of my workout alone.’ Meanwhile, Sophie has taken things one step further: banning her boyfriend from talking to her when she’s exercising. ‘Knowing Sam is going to work out motivates me to join him,’ she says. ‘But we’ve agreed it’s in our best interests to leave each other alone when we get to the gym. And, needless to say, I don’t cycle home with him afterwards either.’