32, TV PRESENTER
‘Anxiety no longer stops me from feeling good’
‘It was two years ago, when details of my divorce were making the news, that my anxiety became unbearable. My fists were permanently clenched, and holding so much tension in my body was exhausting.
I was shooting gritty documentaries for Irish TV and I needed a sharp brain – but mine was sluggish and forgetful.
When filming was over, I went on a fitness retreat with the aim of giving my body a reset. But two days in, I was desperate to get away. Unable to perform at work or find joy in fitness, I knew things had gone too far.
Back in London, my doctor diagnosed anxiety and prescribed beta blockers. I didn’t want to take them. But she reassured me, explaining that the small pink pills wouldn’t change my mood, only ease the physical symptoms like my stomach cramps, grinding teeth and racing heartbeat. And for the six months I took them, they did the job.
Now, I manage without, but I visit or call my therapist fortnightly. And when I do wake up with that familiar sense of dread,
I go for a run with my dog, Winston, which helps to prevent my anxiety spiralling out of control. My boyfriend, Spencer [Matthews, 28, of Made In Chelsea] knows I struggle, but rather than making a big deal out of it, he’ll make me laugh.
Working out what keeps me mentally healthy is a work in progress. But anxiety no longer stops me from doing the things that make me happy.’ Everything: Beauty. Style. Fitness. Life by Vogue Williams (£19.99, Hachette Ireland)