Five Go Absolutely Nowhere by Bruno Vincent

Another instalment in the Enid Blyton for Adults series, this time Julian, Dick, Anne, George and Timmy are stranded on their beloved Kirrin Island when the Covid-19 lockdown is announced. Chaos soon ensues as they try their best to follow government guidance and do nothing at all – a counter-intuitive behaviour for the five crime-busters. The series documents defining milestones with tongue-in-cheek satire, all rested atop a heavy slice of Blyton nostalgia. This book follows the same established formula, and includes plenty of familiar moments from the pandemic. However, the joke never really takes off, with the narrative feeling a little leaden and stale.