‘CHARITY GAVE ME MY LIFE’
How Autism Angels turned it around for teen
AS A teenager, Martha Holmes was struggling.
Unable to control her emotions, or voice her frustration at the world around her, she would lash out at her parents in desperation.
Deeply unhappy, she was skipping school, running away. She would hide behind a curtain of long, dark hair and refuse to make eye contact with anyone.
Her mother, a psychiatrist, gave up work to concentrate on Martha but felt helpless and isolated, on an endless stream of visits to doctors and therapists – until she came across Autism Angels. Three years after their first visit, the family are stronger than ever. The bond between parent and child is unbreakable. And Martha, at 18, is flourishing.
Having re-sat her GCSEs, she has a job and volunteers with young children. And when we meet she is smiling and chatty, and hugely enthusiastic about the charity which has helped her turn her life around.
“I wouldn’t be where I am without Autism Angels,” she said. “I can go out and do things now, I can live the life I wanted to live because of their help. They are amazing people.
“I would really like for other families to have that. Costs can sometimes get in the way of help. Everybody should have the chance, if it can help them as much as it’s helped me.”
Dr Dixon, from north Leeds, had come across Autism Angels while purchasing the family’s Christmas tree from Stockeld Park, which had chosen the group for its charity of the year.
“I was searching for something, anything that could help,” she said. “Even though I was sceptical, I was in a place where we had to try. Autism Angels came at the right time for us.”
Martha, always a quiet and well-behaved child, had struggled when she reached secondary school. New peers, environment and pressures, left her anxious and volatile.
“We were all stressed, it was quite a strained atmosphere,” said Dr Dixon, 49. “Her anxiety would sometimes spill into aggression. Things got broken.
“Martha had a very difficult experience at high school. There’s this concept of ‘masking’, where girls can put on a mask and often they go under the radar.
“Martha was always extremely well behaved at school; she had that feeling of wanting to fit in, to not be noticed. She’s very intelligent.
“But then she would come home, after trying so hard all day, to where she felt safe, and that’s when we’d experience the difficulties with behaviour, the meltdowns.
“She was refusing to go to school. People thought, as her parents, we had to force her. They would tell us to be firmer, put in more boundaries.
“Those years were very difficult, as a family. We were under a lot of stress.
“Martha’s mental health deteriorated. And if one of your children isn’t happy, it affects your own mental health. It got to the point we were really strained as a family.
“It was quite an isolating experience, as a parent. To find this place where people were willing to listen, to accept what we had to say, felt like a relief.”
The pair, after signing up to a taster session, joined a family group with coach Nicola Hall. Here they found friends – and a support network – which has been invaluable.
“It was life-changing,” said Dr Dixon. “It was a place where people were accepted, understood. We weren’t judged.
“I was quite sceptical at first. I come from a scientific background – how could I tell my peers I was going to horse therapy? Then, when I saw it working, I was amazed.”
The transformation for Martha started with the horses.
The family worked with Autism Angels for two years. Martha now goes on her own, for monthly sessions.
And the teenager has a parttime job at a soft-play centre in Ilkley, as well as volunteering at a youth club and Rainbows group.
“Everybody is surprised that I can work with children, and there was a time when I would have run away,” she said. “That shows how much I’ve changed that I can deal with it.
“I find it easier to talk to children than people my own age,” she adds shyly.