Just go down your own path – but don’t be afraid to change it

I IMAGINE that as you read this you are recovering from a day’s festivities, stuffed full of cold turkey and about to watch an old rerun on the TV. Or does that just happen in my house?

I do love this period between Christmas and New Year. In many ways it’s an odd time – a time between the festivities of the old year, with the New Year festivities yet to come.

I prefer to see it as a lovely time to reflect on how the year has been and dream about the year ahead.

I’ve never been one for goals or New Year resolutions. Call me undisciplined but I’ve never managed to keep them, finding that I usually run out of steam pretty quickly. However, I don’t think I’m alone in this.

But why do we find it so hard to keep the goals we make?

As I see it there are two main factors. First, none of us knows what the future holds. By this I mean that in January a particular goal may seem like a good idea and we may feel really motivated to achieve that goal.

However, as time goes on, other things in our life happen or our priorities change and the goal no longer is as relevant as it was before.

Secondly, we tend to lead with our head and not what we really feel. So often I hear people tell me they should do something or they ought to get something else done.

As the world-respected psychologist George Pranksy once said: “No one ever procrastinated over anything they wanted to do.”’ It’s true. When we really want to do something, we tend to do it.

So how do we get around this? Should we hold ourselves accountable when things get tough and make ourselves achieve the goals we thought were such a good idea in the first place – or should we simply not bother?

For me a goal is an idea. If something occurs to me that I’d like to do, and if it feels right, then it’s something I take note of. To me, life is like going on a glorious walk. It may occur to me to go in a particular direction and so I will go that way until it occurs to me to go in a different direction.

I don’t decide my path and continue walking in that direction, come what may, because that is what I initially decided. If I did, I may miss out on some other wonderful opportunities that may come my way if I had gone in a different direction.

Also, I find it’s useful to remind myself that a goal is simply a thought in my mind, to start me on my way. It’s not set in stone.

So at any time it is open to me to revise them and follow my own intuition as to what feels to be the right next step.

When I live life in this space, it allows me to dream about the possibilities the year may bring. I can get excited about the ideas I have and even start creating their reality but in the knowledge that life can be fluid and I can allow it to unfold in the way it wants to.

I have found that approaching the New Year in this way I have achieved far more than I have ever thought possible.

■ Andrea Morrison is a personal-performance coach, speaker and author. Find her at andreamorrison.co.uk