Head judge on the heartache behind the glitter balls
Strictly’shead judge Shirley Ballas tells Hannah Stephensonabout theheartacheshe has suffered behind theglitz andglamour ofalifein dance.
WE’RE USED to seeing Strictly head judge Shirley Ballas in sequins and spangles, mile- high heels, not a false eyelash out of place or a painted nail chipped, as she offers contestants her words of wisdom and encouragement.
But today, the normally up- beat ‘ Queen of Latin’ and no- nonsense judge has just returned a little tearful from a meeting with her counsellor, sparked by the heartache she has been reliving by writing her memoir, Behind The Sequins. For all the sparkle and shine, a hugely successful dance career and the top slot in TV’s top show, Ballas, 60, has endured more than her share of trauma, including two failed marriages and her brother’s death.
“It’s been a bit of an emotional rollercoaster,” says Ballas, who supports the mental health charity CALM ( Campaign Against Living Miserably). She has had counselling on and off for many years, but sought help after opening up ‘ Pandora’s box’ to complete the book.
She’s been in lockdown at her London home with her 83- year- old mother Audrey and her boyfriend, actor Daniel Taylor, 47, whom she met in panto. They’ve been together for 18 months. She says of Taylor: “He’s also been through this difficult journey and now, as my emotions become a little bit more triggered, I think he sees another side of me that perhaps he hasn’t seen before. He’s very complimentary and loves me just the way I am. Of course, there is a honeymoon period which will pass, but I’m optimistic for the future.”
However, she’s not sure if she’ll marry again. “Danny thinks, everything is going well the way it is, so is it necessary for a marriage certificate to say that you’re in a great relationship? We’ve talked about it, but we’ll have to wait and see.”
The memoir charts her life, from her working class beginnings in her hometown of Wallasey in the Wirral to the ballrooms of the world, winning major competitions with her two ( now ex) husbands, teaching Tom Cruise to dance, clinching the top judge job at Strictly, a spat with Craig Revel Horwood and suffering the fallout from a scathing interview given by her exhusband Corky Ballas.
Brought up by her mother on a tough housing estate – her father left when she was two – Shirley Rich started dancing at the age of seven. Audrey, to whom she dedicates the book, took on a variety of jobs to pay for her daughter’s lessons. She left home at 14, dancing competitively during her teens and married her first husband, professional dancer Sammy Stopford, at 19.
A string of trophies followed for the couple but the chemistry they had on the dance floor didn’t extend to home life and they divorced five years later, when she dramatically moved to Texas to be with wealthy Corky Ballas, with whom she also went on to win major dance competitions. They were married for 23 years before eventually separating in 2003 but it was a tumultuous relationship.
The death of her brother, David, aged 44, in 2003 remains the biggest heartache of her life. He had looked after her, on the housing estate they grew up on, while Audrey went to work and had been there for her through thick and thin. She recalls that in the last year of his life, David had suffered with depression and anxiety.
She says: “My brother was always my go- to person. Every day at four o’clock I’d talk to him. I’d be able to rant and rage. I could really trust David and he didn’t judge. I still harbour terrible guilt about it. I’m having an emotional day and when I have to bring up exhusbands and the death of my brother, it all accumulates into one emotional ball, which I’m trying very much to understand. I’ve lived with his suicide for 17 years. People tell you it gets better but it doesn’t.”
Behind The Sequins by Shirley Ballas is published by BBC Books, priced £ 20. The launch show is on BBC1 on October 17.