I WORRY ABOUT OUR VASTLY DIFFERENT SALARIES

I have been going out with a wonderful man for a year now and we have discussed having a future together. I work in finance and earn at least four times his salary. We are both in our mid-30s. He enjoys his job but does not seem concerned about climbing the career ladder. He is not as ambitious as I am and has an incredibly laid-back attitude. Could the fact that I earn a good deal more than him cause us any long-term problems? Many men are competitive and, even in this day and age, can find it hard if their partner is more successful than they are. Working long hours and spending long periods of time apart can make this worse. However, if the man you love is self-assured and comfortable in his job, then it may not be a problem. He might even see it as a bonus – you could buy a house, have a good lifestyle and do exciting things together. If you were to have children, though, an entirely different dilemma could arise. Who stays at home to look after them, or which of you combines a career with the huge responsibility of bringing them up? If he were prepared to stay at home, would you be happy with the arrangement? Some women find it much harder to leave their baby behind and go back to work than they first anticipated. As well as being loving and caring, is your partner as interesting, intelligent, fun and sexy as, perhaps, some of the high-powered men you work with? As a driven woman, can you be certain that over time you would not find his lack of drive and ambition disappointing or irritating? Sadly, some women do. Also, are you sure it is you he loves and not just the lifestyle that you provide? You must think of how you would handle your finances. You may see your combined salaries as joint income or, alternatively, decide that as you earn the lion’s share, you should have the greatest say in how it is spent. This could lead to arguments and resentment further down the line. Discuss all of this with your partner – if you fundamentally agree on how you see your future together, there is no reason why one earning considerably more than the other should be a problem.