DEAR ZELDA Your problems answered

I am a 23-year-old man and think I may be falling for a woman I have known since we were in junior school. We hang out together with a group of mutual friends, but one day our careers may take us in different directions. We care for each other and I am attracted to her, but just not 100 per cent sure that I see her in a romantic way. I have never had a girlfriend, so I may, perhaps, be looking for a quick fix. I am a sociable guy and have no trouble talking to people. If we got together we could end up getting married, but I had always imagined having a number of relationships before doing that. Some days it doesn’t bother me, other days it tears me apart. Should I tell her how I feel? I understand your dilemma. If you pursue this girl and it doesn’t work out, you could destroy a good friendship. Alternatively, she could reject you, which might also make things awkward in the future. Or you could spend so long thinking about it that someone else snaps her up. You are perhaps starting to panic about the fact that you haven’t had a girlfriend. It may also be that deep down you are nervous about dating, which is why you are hesitant. The fact that you are unsure, however, could also be because you don’t really fancy her, so the sexual chemistry is missing. You mention that if you were to become romantically involved, you might feel that the next step is marriage, but there is no rush. Has she given any indication that she is interested in you? If she hasn’t, she may not be. I think you are feeling this attraction more out of the need to have a relationship, so I think you should keep it as a friendship and find a girlfriend elsewhere.