MY MISTAKE HAS PUT OUR RELATIONSHIP IN JEOPARDY

Under the influence of prescription drugs and alcohol, I did something totally unforgivable and out of character. My relationship with my partner’s son has never been great. Two weeks ago, he told his father that he was going to propose to his girlfriend and although my partner wasn’t supposed to tell me, he did. We later had a big argument and in my inebriated state, I sent a text congratulating the couple before the proposal had actually happened. I did the same on my partner’s Facebook page, signing off from both of us. Their families saw and began congratulating them. His son has subsequently proposed and his girlfriend has accepted. My partner is distraught and we are currently not living together. His son told him: ‘If you ever speak to her again, we’ll have a big fall-out.’ The rest of his family want nothing more to do with me. We are in love, but he says he doesn’t know if we have a future together. I am in a terrible state. How can I get things back on track? Unfortunately, what you did was foolish and spoilt an important romantic occasion. As your relationship with your partner’s son was already rocky, this will sadly make it even harder for him to forgive you. He appears to be saying to his father: ‘You have a choice: me or her. You can’t have both.’ This puts your partner in a difficult position. He is already risking a lot by seeing you. Write a deeply apologetic letter to his son and his son’s fiancée. Explain that you were under the influence of drink and prescription drugs, and you are devastated by what you did. Tell them that you regret how much you have hurt them and his father. Then say that you know it will take time to get over this, but you hope they will be able to forgive you. Ask someone his son trusts to talk to him about how sorry you are and ask him to give you another chance. Tell your partner how much you love him, that you accept for now that you can’t live together, but that you would do anything to put things right. It sounds as though you might have a drink problem and it may help if you show you are willing to address this. Contact Alcoholics Anonymous (alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk).