QUICKFIRE with comedian Jason Manford

Jason Manford

Guilty pleasure? Daytime TV property shows, such as Homes Under the Hammer. Where is home? A semidetached house in Stockport, near Manchester. Career plan B? English teacher. Who would play you in a movie of your life? Ideally myself, otherwise some average-looking guy, such as Ryan Reynolds or George Clooney! Biggest bugbear? Waiters and waitresses who don’t use a notepad and try to remember your order. As a child you wanted to be… I always wanted to be a performer. Earliest memory? When I was about four, I vividly remember hiding behind a couch in the living room when a bailiff came to the door because my dad had some sort of debt. Your best quality? I guess I’m friendly. And your worst? I’m messy. Secret to a happy relationship? Let me know when you find out. Last meal on earth? A huge Domino’s Double Decadence pizza – I’m a bit of a fast-food junkie, unfortunately. Dream dinner-party guests? Billy Connolly, Sandi Toksvig, the late American comedian George Carlin, and Georgi Kinkladze, a former Manchester City player who was my childhood hero. Advice to teenage self? You learn more from the bad times than the good. Cat or dog? Dog, 100 per cent – I hate cats. What do you see when you look in the mirror? I think I have the opposite of body dysmorphia – I look in the mirror and think I look all right! Starstruck moment? Meeting Bette Midler at the 2009 Royal Variety Performance in Blackpool. Favourite tipple? I’m not a huge drinker, but I’m susceptible to the occasional cocktail – as long as it doesn’t taste of alcohol. Hangover cure? A long lie-in and a full English breakfast. What did you have for breakfast today? Shakshuka – poached eggs in a spicy tomato sauce – cooked by Phill Jupitus, who is my housemate on the Chitty Chitty Bang Bang tour. Top of your bucket list? To take my five young children on a three-week exploring holiday somewhere like Africa, Thailand or even America. Big break? Meeting the producers of 8 Out of 10 Cats at the Edinburgh Festival in 2005. I was one of the team captains for several years. Career highlight? Getting the thumbs-up from Mel Brooks to appear in a stage production of The Producers last year. He was almost 90, but still very switched on. Philosophy? Make far horizons your middle distance. One thing that would make your life better? Loving vegetables as much as I love sugary foods. Worst job you’ve ever done? I lasted a day and a half at a Burger King in Manchester. Where would you time travel to? Back to the 60s and 70s, which sound brilliant according to some of the stories my dad tells. First record you bought? ‘Fast Car’ by Tracy Chapman. Your most extravagant purchase? A black Jaguar XF, which I loved. When the children came, I changed it for a Seat Alhambra people carrier. Biggest regret? Probably the Seat Alhambra. Your celebrity crush? Melissa McCarthy – I really like funny women. Happiness is… A day off with the kids under a duvet watching Disney films. Jason will star in the Chitty Chitty Bang Bang UK tour from Wednesday at Northampton’s Royal & Derngate theatre, chittythemusical.co.uk