I’M SHOCKED BY HIS SECRET

My partner and I have been living together for six months. We are both in our late 30s. I love him, but recently found some women’s clothes in the back of his wardrobe. I was shocked. When I confronted him, he reluctantly admitted that he likes to cross-dress. I feel quite repulsed by this and don’t know what to do. He is embarrassed, ashamed and says he won’t do it again. Research shows that the majority of men who cross-dress are heterosexual and they often don’t understand why they do it. It is fairly compulsive behaviour and therefore not easy to give up. Some say it is an outlet for stress or that it puts them in touch with their feminine side. For a small minority of men, it holds a sexual connotation and some enjoy having sex dressed as a woman. Your partner should have told you, but I suspect he thought you would find it difficult to cope with. Some women can accept that their partner likes to cross-dress and help them with their clothes and make-up. Other women can only tolerate it as long as their partner does it in private and doesn’t involve them. But some women feel as you do and reject the whole idea. You have only just found out and are still in shock, so give yourself time to see how you feel. Talk to your partner and ask him to be open about his cross-dressing and what he is interested in. Explain to him how you feel and see if you might eventually be able to accept it. If not, it would be better to end the relationship as this is not something he can change, despite his insistence that he will not do it again. For further help, contact The Beaumont Society (01582 412220).