I CAN’T COPE WITH MY SON’S BULLYING BEHAVIOUR

My 28-year-old son hates me. When he was seven, my drink was spiked in a pub. When I began to feel woozy, a man ‘kindly’ offered to take me home. The next thing I remember was waking up in a strange place. Six weeks later, I discovered I was pregnant. I had an abortion. I couldn’t tell my husband. Our marriage was on the rocks and we had not had sex for a year. I was so racked with guilt that I tried to kill myself. I have been bullied throughout my life – by my father, at school, university and at work. Now my son, who runs his own business, bullies me. If he doesn’t get what he wants, he throws a tantrum. Even his four-year-old daughter says: ‘Stop shouting, Daddy!’ His doctor says I am partly responsible for this behaviour, because as a child he got everything he wanted and more. My father left me money in his will, but I gave most of it to my son. I recently refused to give him more – I don’t have any left – and I haven’t heard from him since. Although we are separated, I am still friends with his father and we try to be good parents. I am thinking of ending it all. Then, at least, I will no longer have my son on my back. Please don’t take your own life. It would be tragic and devastating for those around you. This traumatic rape – plus a lifetime of bullying – has left you with no self-esteem or self-love and contributed to your suicidal feelings. It is so sad that you weren’t able to go to the police, because what happened was not your fault. Please contact the Samaritans (samaritans.org, 116 123), but also see your GP urgently to ask for antidepressants and a referral for depression and possibly post traumatic stress disorder counselling. When you feel stronger, with the support of his father, jointly write to your son and explain to him how upset you are and that you have always tried to be there for him. Tell him the reality is that you don’t have any money – you have to say no to giving him more. I am afraid he is behaving as though he is a narcissistic, spoilt child. Counselling will also help you to stand up to him. If you do see him, make sure you have someone with you for support.