HOW CAN I MAKE MY FRIEND LISTEN?

One of my close friends is constantly obsessing about how she looks and her confidence is knocked if she thinks someone is more attractive than her. She is 27, beautiful, has a lovely figure and nice hair, but always criticises herself and says she is not slim or pretty enough. She hates her curly hair and spends hours straightening it. The reality is that she is very popular and never short of male attention, she eats well and I think she looks great. I have listened to her moaning for the past six years and I am afraid I’m getting fed up with it as nothing I say makes any difference. How can I help her? I imagine she doesn’t do this with all her friends, otherwise she would not be so popular. She probably doesn’t mean to, but I think she is taking advantage of your kindness because you are a loyal and sympathetic friend. It’s not fair on you. Next time, tell her you think she looks great and you truly value her as a friend, but gently mention that you think she needs professional advice as nothing you say makes a difference. To help with her low self-confidence, encourage her to read The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown*. She may also be suffering from body dysmorphia, where someone obsesses about their imagined imperfections, so she should seek counselling, either through her GP or privately through the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (bacp.co.uk).