SHOULD I TELL MY FATHER’S SECRET?

I am reeling from shock and don’t know what to do. Last weekend, I was out with friends and I saw my father with another woman. They were walking down the street and touching and kissing each other, seemingly oblivious to those around them. I am 19 and it took a lot of courage to confront my father, but when I did, he denied it and said it wasn’t him. He was out that evening and came back late. I am very close to my mother and I don’t know whether I should tell her, but it feels awful not to. I thought my parents had a loving marriage. I don’t like the fact that my father is cheating on my mother, but I am also afraid that if I tell her she will be badly hurt. This is incredibly difficult for you. You are close to your mother and this secret is a heavy burden to carry on your own. It may not be a full-blown affair, but your father is clearly betraying your mother and seeing this woman behind her back. Your indecision is understandable because you are afraid of hurting her. If your father had admitted it, showed regret and said he would never see this woman again, it might have been better not to tell her. But because your father lied – and as you are so close to your mother – it would be extremely hard not to tell her. You would always be wondering whether your father is still seeing this other woman. It might even feel as though you are colluding with him by keeping his affair a secret. So tell him that you know it was him you saw and you want him to tell your mother the truth, otherwise you will. Explain how upset you are and how unfair it is of him to expect you to keep his secret. Sadly, affairs can happen even in loving marriages, but hopefully your father will cut all contact with this woman and try to rebuild the loving partnership he and your mother had.