HE EARNS MORE SO FEELS I OWE HIM

My husband and I have two children and live in a lovely home. He has a well-paid job, whereas I work part time and, though I enjoy what I do, I do not earn a lot. Sometimes I feel as though I am a second-class citizen as, because he is the bigger earner, my husband seems to think that I have to give him what he wants, which is sex whenever he chooses. If I don’t do this, he tries to stop me seeing my friends and going to the gym. When we do have sex, he is much more caring and loving for a few days, but then it all goes downhill until the next time. I think he would like us to do it every day, whereas once a week is a little too much for me. I do love him, but this is making me so angry. Your husband is blackmailing you into having sex with him and, as a result, you will feel increasingly angry and enjoy it less and less. There is a mismatch of sexual desire which a lot of couples experience, but your husband is not handling this well and should not be forcing you. So choose a good moment to talk to him and explain this. Tell him that you love him, but the way he has been treating you regarding your sex life is hurtful and it has the opposite effect. Discuss how often you would both like to make love, which may be less than he would prefer and a little more than you would choose, so you will need to agree on a compromise, eg, perhaps once or twice a week. It is important that he recognises that he has been bullying you. He should apologise and understand that for a woman to want to make love, she needs to feel loved and emotionally close to a man.