I LOVE HER, BUT WE HAVE NO SEX LIFE

After my divorce, I got back in touch with a woman with whom I’d had a brief relationship 30 years previously. She was single and we became close again. We are now in our 60s. We don’t live together, but when I stay the night we sleep in the same bed. However, she doesn’t want to have a physical relationship, which I find difficult. I went online and met up with another woman. She found me sexually attractive, but nothing happened as the emotional connection that I have with my partner wasn’t there. Then my partner found an email and saw that I had talked about her and met with this other woman. She feels as though I betrayed her trust, but we are still together. I am retired and don’t want be on my own for the rest of my life. What should I do? It is unfortunate if you love your partner and want to be with her, but she doesn’t want the relationship to be sexual. Your 60s are far too young to give up on a sex life, and making love is a wonderful part of a relationship. You need to ask her why she is not interested. A difficult – but important – question for you to ask is whether or not she is attracted to you. Perhaps she no longer has any interest in sex. If so, she could see her GP about the problem (for example, she could have low testosterone levels) and see what treatment is available. I think that, as well as being a good friend, you want to be with her because you fear being alone, which I understand. If nothing changes, might it be better to remain friends but not be romantic partners? If you do stay together, it will take some time for her trust to be rebuilt.