IS OUR SON HIDING A DRUG PROBLEM?

My 23-year-old son, who lives at home, is causing my husband and I great concern. He is an only child and we brought him up to appreciate the value of things. But we feel as though we’ve failed in some way. It’s become evident that he has been stealing small amounts of money from his father’s business, although he blatantly denies it. He is reasonably paid in his job and has few financial commitments. After a night out with his friends, he sleeps for the whole day and seems unable to wake up – and when he does, he is verbally abusive. He has been like this for two years and we fear he has a mental health issue or drug addiction, which he denies. But as he won’t admit it, we feel powerless to help. Where can we turn? Please don’t feel you have failed – you have obviously tried to be good parents to the son you love very much. He could be taking money to fund his drug habit. In the early days, young people taking drugs often deny it – especially to their parents. Gently say to him: ‘We know you are taking money and drugs. If you want to talk to us about it, we will be understanding and want to help.’ Most importantly, you and your husband need support, so contact Families Anonymous (famanon.org.uk, 0845 120 0660). It runs meetings where parents can support each other and has online forums. One woman, whose son took drugs but has now stopped, said to me: ‘These meetings saved my sanity.’ She felt she would have struggled to survive without them. You could also contact Adfam (adfam.org.uk), which has local support groups and DrugFam (drugfam.co.uk, 0300 888 3853), which runs a helpline for family members.