I FANCY MY BEST FRIEND’S HUSBAND

I am single and I have lusted after my best friend’s husband for several years. Out of loyalty to my friend, I have not taken things further. Then, a few weeks ago, her husband rang me and said that he would like to meet. I thought that there was something he wanted to talk to me about. They have two young children, who are not the easiest to deal with. But I was excited by the thought of seeing him. We met for coffee and he told me that he had feelings for me and found me attractive. He said that he would like to have an affair and that he would be discreet because he loved his wife and did not want to hurt her. I know that I should not pursue this, but part of me is tempted to say yes. involved by someone you love and who you thought loved you. It can wreck a marriage. An affair with your best friend’s husband is even more devastating, because it is a double betrayal. On top of that, you are single and have been attracted to him for some time. You might fall in love with him and want him to leave your friend for you. As he loves his wife and they have children, he is unlikely to do this and you would get very hurt as well. He may even have had other affairs in the past. Please do not destroy your best friend’s life. Read my book To Love, Honour and Betray: Why Affairs Happen and How to Survive Them (£10, Thistle Publishing). horror. I would like to leave with no fuss at all. I have recently suffered from panic attacks, such is the anxiety that I feel. I appreciate that people may want to wish me well, and I certainly don’t want to offend anyone. Is there a way to achieve a quieter exit? You sound lovely and well-liked by your colleagues. You could talk to the people who are arranging your leaving party and explain that you would like the chance to say goodbye, but that you can’t face any speeches and would prefer a low-key event. Perhaps they could explain to others that you are anxious about a big send-off and instead would like to organise something simple, such as a party with no speeches. You could even arrange to go for drinks after work where you could say goodbye to people individually, and tell them how much you have enjoyed working with them.