His son is coming between us

Six months ago I met a lovely man. We get on really well and now see a lot of each other. He has two children who live with his ex-wife but visit him at weekends. The problem is that his son, who is 15, hates it if his father sees anyone else or has a girlfriend as he fears that his father won’t love him as much or won’t spend any time with him. I am now uncertain about the future of this relationship, but I do care for this man very much and these feelings are returned. I imagine his son is pretty upset by his parents’ separation and minds that he sees less of his father, so he may worry that if someone new comes into his father’s life he will see even less of him. Also, children of divorced parents often hope that their parents will get back together. His father needs to tell him how much he loves him and gently explain that they won’t be getting back together but that he really wants to spend lots of time with him. It is important to encourage his son to talk about his fears and give him lots of reassurance that a new girlfriend will not mean that he will love his son any less. It is also important that he does not allow his son to control his life. He needs to take things reasonably slowly so, perhaps for now, he should do some fun things with his son and his other children which include you, but also sometimes see them on his own. As for the future, try not to worry. If you are patient and kind and take a bit of a back seat, in time his son should start to feel more relaxed and accept that you are part of his father’s life and hopefully come to enjoy your company, too.