By the 48-year-old mother of four

‘THE ENEMY OF HOT MIDDLE-AGED SEX IS EXHAUSTION’

MONDAY

Husband has been away for three months. This means lots of self-stimulation and sexting. I’m not as good at it as he is. Am horrendously squeamish about the descriptive words for man parts (and lady parts). But, if you are apart for long periods of time, you get over it to keep the intimacy alive. Also sending nudes. On the one hand, as a generously proportioned woman of 48, it’s liberating to know that your husband sees you as irresistibly sexy. On the other, what if I accidentally send it to the parent/teacher WhatsApp group? Try some poses on bed, one works out pretty good. Am working up to using the word ‘throbbing’. May need cup of tea first.

TUESDAY

Husband sends a nude while I am in a meeting. Must remember to turn off notifications on home screen. We make our own sex tapes for when we are apart. It’s actually fun to do after a couple of large gins and a brief discussion on appropriate camera angles, but it’s not the same as the real thing.

Tonight, he’s home. Once this would have meant tumbling into bed for a passionate reunion. Now it means waiting for the children (age seven to 17) to be in bed, the dishwasher to be loaded and the dogs to be let out. The enemy of hot middle-aged sex is exhaustion. Six hours later, our reunion sex is magnificent, frenzied and explosive. Second round also wonderful, though slightly postponed when my discussion of school dinner versus packed lunch rather deflates his excitement. Must keep family admin out of the bedroom.

WEDNESDAY

Tonight, it’s all about me. Long lovely massage and endless pleasure. I go to sleep content.

THURSDAY

We argue about leaving dirty plates in the sink. The second enemy of hot middle-aged sex is mundane domesticity. Top tip to all husbands everywhere who want more sex: instead of moaning about the state of the house, clean it. FRIDAY

I thought that when I reached my 40s I’d have no sex drive any more. Wrong! This period of my life is one of glorious sensuality. I love my body and so does my husband. I’m confident enough to be wanton about every wobble and roll. Let the haters hate, because I’m getting all the orgasms.

SATURDAY

Morning sex is my favourite; sadly almost impossible when you have children who get up at 5am and two dogs that bark at a leaf blowing past the door, never mind the creak of a bedspring. We give it a go, abandoned due to demands for toast. Husband now grumpy.

SUNDAY

I love long family days; it seems rare that everyone is at home all at once. Spend the day in the garden, paddling pool out, and a big dinner. Am worn out by the time the children are in bed. We fell into each other’s arms to sleep, but it became sleepy, lazy sex – close and gentle and full of love. As long as there is love and passion, I’ve found age is no bar to an amazing, fulfilling and exciting sex life.

SEX TALLY: 5½