The power struggle in my relationship

Sitting down to watch TV the other night, I was seized with a sudden panic. The reason for this burst of anxiety was that I had briefly looked at my phone and seen that it was almost out of battery.

‘Do you have a charger?’ I asked my other half, sweat breaking out across my brow.

‘Why?’ he asked quite reasonably, given that we were about to watch television, an activity not requiring the services of my handheld mobile device. ‘My phone’s almost out of battery!’ I shrieked. The only charger within reach was being used by my boyfriend. He said I could take it if I needed it more, which is the definition of true love (that, and sharing the last slice of pizza even when it is technically his). I noticed that his phone had less juice than mine, but it didn’t seem to bother him.

So I plugged my phone in and it was only when I saw the reassuring lightning-bolt symbol flash up in the right-hand corner that I was able to relax. Of course, I wasn’t intending to use my phone for the next hour or so but, at the same time, I could urgently be called upon to, well, do something with it. There might be a crucial FaceTime I had to answer or an emergency email I had to reply to or an important Instagram post that I had to comment on with a heart-eyed emoji. The possibilities were endless.

I have come to believe the world is divided into two types of people: those who like to have their phones fully charged at all times, and those who let it dwindle perilously low. This is when a ‘low power’ warning message flashes up and the battery icon turns red. Then, if you’re really flying by the seat of your pants, it goes yellow, which as we all know is the colour of mortal danger.

I am clearly in the former category. I believe that keeping my phone powered up is a sign of good housekeeping, in the same way that I make the bed each morning and always put dirty teaspoons in the dishwasher. It would be slovenly to let it slide. Having become accustomed to using my phone for everything from making calls, taking photos and updating social media, to writing shopping lists, checking the weather and listening to music, it feels unimaginably reckless to let it run out of power.

I never travel without a charger and have invested in a portable battery pack, but even that stresses me out because I need to ensure that it, too, is constantly hovering around the 100 per cent mark. I suppose it’s because I’m the kind of boring person who never misses a deadline, who likes to have no unread emails in her inbox and who is already so freaked out by the random and chaotic nature of the universe that she seeks to impose illusory order on the things that she can control, rather than dwell on the things she can’t. Either that or I’m just far too uptight.

A quick straw poll among my friends revealed that those who let their phones slide into oblivion on a daily basis were also the people most likely to drive cars until the petrol-gauge needle went into the red. They enjoyed the buzz of it, while also having complete confidence that they would ultimately be OK. It’s why, I think, phone-charging habits are also generational: Gen Zedders, having grown up in a world of plenty, never expect a lack to be permanent and are more likely to let their phone charge nosedive.

I still believe in the power of a safety net (and then another net around the original safety net in case the first one breaks). It makes sense that my partner has a different phone-battery etiquette to mine as complementary life philosophies balance each other out. I worry and take precautions against things going wrong; he stays calm and is hopeful that things will turn out well.

The best part? We never fight over the charger.

‘Do you have a charger?’ i askeD, sweat breaking across my brow

this week i’m… watching

Little Fires Everywhere on Amazon Prime, based on the Celeste Ng book and starring Kerry Washington (above) and Reese Witherspoon.

moisturising

with Evolve Daily Renew Facial Cream. Made in England with natural ingredients and – even better – it smells delicious.

Booking

a deep-tissue massage at home via Urban Massage. My shoulders are desperate. Available from 4 July; urban.co/en-gb.

Big enough for essentials, nonessentials… and the rest

Bag, £115, arket.com

Colourblocking with monochrome can be just as striking

Top, £175, joseph-fashion.com

They keep nasties out and hydration in: ceramides have been a go-to skincare ingredient for years. And now they’re even cleverer

Ceramides are not exactly a new ingredient in skincare; Elizabeth Arden was talking about their importance 30 years ago. But lately there has been a renewed focus on them. It’s a trend that Mark Curry, co-founder of affordable skincare brand The Inkey List, says could be down to better understanding about how our body’s own ceramide production ‘decreases by approximately one per cent every year as we age’.

That loss is important because, as dermatologist Dr Alexis Granite of the Mallucci London clinic puts it, ‘ceramides make up 50 per cent of our skin’s natural barrier; think of them as the mortar that holds the bricks [skin cells] together. They play an important role in maintaining skin hydration and boosting our skin’s natural defences.’ Also, she says, because ceramides are hydrating they help ‘prevent potential irritation from drying ingredients such as retinol and AHAs and are helpful for those with inflammatory skin conditions such as eczema’. In other words, they’re good for all skin types and help with a dry complexion.

Since the brand started it all, let’s begin with

Elizabeth Arden’s latest addition to its ceramides range: Ceramide Micro Capsule Skin Replenishing Essence (£45, elizabetharden.co.uk). It’s more of a light gel texture than the liquid formula that ‘essence’ might suggest. ‘I think the industry is learning a lot about ceramides,’ agrees Karelle Messner, vice president of skincare product development at Arden. ‘Our new micro essence is a different approach to what we have done in the past. It contains an algae that optimises skin’s natural ceramide production and doesn’t actually contain ceramide. Think of it as a “skin starter” that preps your skin to receive the most benefits from the rest of your skincare regimen.’

Drunk Elephant E-Rase Milki Micellar Water 3-Ceramide Blend with Wild Melon Seed Oil (£24, spacenk.com from 1 July) is a lightweight and

gentle cleanser which, thanks to those ceramides, leaves skin feeling moisturised, too. It’s also formulated without the modern ingredient nasties of fragrance, silicones, sulphates and PEGs.

For a good facial moisturiser look to Sunday Riley, which has recently launched ICE Ceramide Moisturizing Cream (£60, cultbeauty.co.uk). It’s a rich but not heavy texture and comes fortified with vitamin F, a building block of ceramides.

Kate Somerville has launched DeliKate ,anew range aimed at stressed – or sensitised – skin after cosmetic procedures, home peels or using retinols, vitamin C and acids, so it’s rich in comforting ceramides. There’s a cream cleanser, a light moisturiser and, my favourite, DeliKate Recovery Serum (£70, katesomerville.co.uk) which is a reformulated version of her already much-loved Kx Omegas & Ceramides Serum. It sinks straight in and my always-thirsty skin is loving it. The whole range is fragrance, parabens, sulphate and mineral oil-free.

The Inkey List Ceramide Night Treatment (£14.99, theinkeylist.com) was launched late last year and the fragrance-free formula also contains hyaluronic acid, which means it has an extra moisturising boost.

A special mention to Curél Intensive Moisture Facial Cream (£19.50, boots.com). This doesn’t have ceramides in its name but it is formulated with them at its heart. A top-selling range for sensitive and dry skin in Japan, it launched here last year and is brilliant stuff. I always have this on the go and it’s doubling up as hand treatment at the moment – it’s just that good at sorting out my distressed skin. Ceramides may not always be in a product name, so it’s worth checking the ingredient list on the packaging.

Cerave is also a range built around ceramides and its tub of Moisturising Cream (£16, boots.com) is great for the body, too, and comes with extra moisture-boosting hyaluronic acid.

Ceramides make up 50 per cent of our skin’s natural barrier