THESE INNOCENT MEN HAVE SOMETHING EVIL IN COMMON

Anna Moore

They have all had their identities hijacked on dating websites by fraudsters trying to con women out of thousands of pounds. finds out why so many of us are falling prey to their treacherous charms

he pandemic has been hard for Angela Kelly*. Her administrative job within a Sussex hospital has required her to work throughout with every reason to fear exposure to a deadly virus. Divorced and single for 15 years, she comes home to an empty house.

‘For many years of my marriage, my relationship with my husband was nonexistent,’ says Angela, now 62. ‘We had separate lives and beds.’ With her adult daughter living abroad and opportunities to see friends or meet new people severely curtailed, she felt lonely. More than ever, life suddenly felt short.

In August 2020, Angela decided to try online dating

– a world she knew little about. She chose Ourtime, a site for the over-50s, uploaded a picture and listed the traits she most valued as ‘honesty’ and ‘kindness’.

Within a week, she was contacted by a man who called himself Alek and claimed to live in a town about 30 miles away. His profile showed a picture of a smiling grey-haired man. ‘He looked like a professional,’ says Angela. ‘He told me that

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she says. ‘I bought three dresses online – I’ve still got them.’ A date was set in September, but a few days before, Alek claimed he’d been called to Manchester to talk about a job, an overseas contract. Less than a week later, he (supposedly) flew out to Turkey. ‘He told me this would be his last job,’ says Angela. ‘After that, he wanted to retire – he built this picture of us growing old together.’ Before he left, Angela suggested they try Facetiming, but Alek said it wouldn’t work on his phone.

After his departure, Angela heard nothing for a couple of days. When Alek did call, he told her that the location was remote, there was little internet and his computer equipment had been confiscated at the airport due to Covid restrictions. The two continued to talk by phone – he sent pictures of the construction site – and when Angela went out for a birthday meal with friends, he asked her to send a photo. He also suggested they Skype, but the connection lasted a few seconds before cutting out.

On the day after Angela’s birthday, Alek called to ask a favour. ‘He sounded different – stressed – almost begging,’ says Angela. ‘He said that he couldn’t work without his computer equipment and needed someone to go to the Apple store, buy new devices and Fedex it to his interpreter in Cyprus.

‘I cannot understand why I did it, but the truth is I never hesitated,’ says Angela. ‘He said it was urgent, so I went into panic mode because that was the power he’d built up. I saw him as this good, honest person.’ As Angela drove to the Brighton Apple store with Alek’s shopping list, he called to make sure she knew exactly what he needed. ‘But even then, he said, “You’re not talking on the phone and driving at the same time are you?” He wanted to make sure I’d pulled over, that I was safe.’ That day, she spent almost £6,000 on equipment for him.

Angela had never heard of romance fraud – she didn’t know it existed. If she had, she would have recognised so many red flags. ‘Scammers often say they work in the military, on oil rigs, or they’re construction engineers – anything that involves travel and no easy access to bank accounts or Skype,’ says Ruth Grover, who runs the support and advice group Scamhaters United. ‘They are often widowers, and might have lost a child, too. Anything to get your sympathy at an early stage. And they always try to get you off the platform you met on as soon as possible, by asking for your email or phone number. That means they’re not monitored and there’s less of a trail. They usually want you to keep the whole relationship secret, too – that way no one can see it for what it is, warn you off or break the spell.’

The Apple purchases took all of Angela’s savings. ‘He told me how much I’d helped him, that he didn’t know how to thank me,’ says Angela. But as days turned into weeks, and he still hadn’t paid her back, the excuses started. ‘He said that he needed an ipad to sync to the computers and he was getting one from Australia,’ she says. ‘Later he told me his bank account had been frozen. That’s when it hit me – “Oh my God, what have you done?” Businessmen don’t have their bank accounts frozen.’

‘NO ONE IN MY LIFE HAD BEEN THAT KIND OR LOVING. AFTER ALL THIS TIME I HAD SOMEONE’

‘When it comes to romance fraud, Covid has created some really plausible reasons as to why someone is in a crisis and needs help,’ says Alex Rothwell, Detective Chief Superintendent at City of London Police. ‘They’re in a medical emergency, they’re suddenly unable to travel, or have a last-minute expense on the way to see you. It has given fraudsters so many reasons as to why they need money urgently.’

‘There are more people on dating sites,’ adds Ruth Grover from Scamhaters United, ‘but we have so many victims who met fraudsters on other platforms. Online Scrabble is one, or even on a Fitbit [the fitness-tracking smartwatch]: someone trying to keep fit receives a message saying, “Hi, how are you doing? How many steps have you done?”’

Police appeal to all victims to report the crime – currently it’s believed that only one in five do. ‘Every piece of information is valuable to us,’ says Rothwell. ‘The more details we have, the more we can close beneficiary bank accounts, block and remove fake profiles, repatriate money and bring people before the courts.’

Sometimes it is possible for victims to get their money back, especially if they report the crime to their banks immediately and in time to freeze the transaction.