WHAT CAN I DO TO HELP MY STEPSON?

I am deeply worried about my stepson. I have two grown-up children from my first marriage but my wife’s youngest son is 13 and, when he’s not at school, he barely leaves his room. When he does come out, mostly for meals, he is uncommunicative at best. I’m concerned that he spends all his time on his phone with whatever horrors lurk there. I get on with him well enough and have tried talking to him about

Qit, but he just says he’s fine. My wife doesn’t seem to think it’s a problem. She says that boys are like this at his age and he’ll grow out of it. We have started arguing about him quite often.

I agree that your stepson’s withdrawal is a matter of concern. Adolescents (perhaps especially boys) can become surly and uncommunicative as they hit their teenage years. But

Athis sounds more than that – and, as you say, the internet is a huge threat to the mental health of our young people. You need your wife’s co-operation but, of course, she will feel that she knows her son better than you so may see it as interference. However, she sounds disengaged and I wonder why. Does she really think there is no problem, or does she perhaps have a rather fragile relationship with her son following her split from his dad and feel reluctant to risk pushing him further away? You seem a caring stepdad so I urge you to keep going, as he clearly needs help. Start by contacting familylives.org.uk and internetmatters.org to talk through your concerns. Then approach your wife again. Tell her that you care about her son greatly and feel it is important to work as a team to help him.