Saying goodbye
It’s the hardest decision horse owners have to make — when to put their beloved friend to sleep. Sometimes the decision is taken out of our hands, with freak accidents and illness stealing our horses from us too soon. So when it comes to dealing with your horse passing away, whether it's sudden or expected, what advice do our Facebook followers have? Read on for their stories…
FREE FROM PAIN
On the anniversary of my horse’s death, I go out to the field and say hello. Wherever they are now, I know they’re happy and free from pain.
Lisa Parsons
SEEK SOLACE CE
My mare had a neurological episode in the field. Fortunately, the landowner (a friend of mine) heard signs of distress and called me and the vet, so I was able to be there at the end. Seek solace from like-minded friends and try not to be too hard on those who don’t understand. Don’t over-analyse every detail either; you did everything you could.
Pamela Stokes
LIFE-CHANGING
I lost one horse two years ago and another a few months ago. They were best friends and I’d had them for a long time. My life was built around them. They both went suddenly, although they were getting on in years. It helped me to get their ashes back. I found the hardest part was when they were taken away.
Laura Walmsley
THE RIGHT DECISION
I lost my boy Rio just over a year ago. We’d been out for a lovely hack, but on our return he wouldn’t eat his dinner, then started colicking. The vet arrived and we discussed all options before deciding the kindest thing was to say goodbye. I was glad that I could be with him in his last moments. I know he had a lovely life with his horsey pals and, as much as I miss him, I know it was the right decision for him.
Elinor Rees
A NEW FOCUS
I was adamant that I didn’t want another horse after losing my childhood pony to heart failure. I felt nothing could fill that hole. However, I ended up rescuing a gelding and it’s been so beneficial. He helped me to cope with her loss and I've helped him in return.
Amy Hamilton
CARRYING ON
I just remind myself of all the good times we had. I had another horse and she helped me get through it. She gave me a reason to get up and get on with things. I’ll never forget my boy and even six years on the fact that I lost him still breaks my heart.
Victoria Johnstone
FOND MEMORIES
My horse was found dead in his field one morning two years ago. I relive that phone call almost every day. He turned his hoof to everything, from hacking to cross-country and dressage — you name it, we had a go. Those memories keep me thinking of him fondly. Life goes on, but he will always have a special place in my heart.
Lesley Wood
HELPFUL ADVICE
The BHS is brilliant for advice on grief after the loss of a horse. I’m still grieving two years on. He wasn't just a pony, he was family.
Tracy Moorcroft
HONOURING HIS MEMORY
My boy was 23 when I lost him, but still fit. We’d won two classes at a charity show six weeks before he passed. I now sponsor those classes in his honour. I did buy another horse a few months later as I couldn’t bear to see his empty stable, but I went for a totally different type (he was a 12.2hh Dales cross and I bought a 17hh Irish Sport Horse). It helped to have another horse who needed me.
Paula Frazer
GO EASY
Remind yourself that it’s OK to grieve and don’t be too hard on yourself. You’ve lost a friend.
Anastasia Crow
YOU’LL KNOW
My advice to people would be that you’ll know when it’s time; the horse will let you know. It’s easier if it’s not sudden as you can plan to spend a day pampering them like I did with my 22-year-old pony. You’re left feeling less shaken. My other piece of advice is remember you have given them a good life, no matter how long it is.
Nina Haddon