I bought a smartphone from Tesco I admit it looked good at the time A touch of class that was stylish I had to admire its design

The visual effect was amazing It was lightweight and easy to hold But switching it on was a problem I suddenly felt very old

So am I connected to Wifi? I wouldn’t know where to begin Then there’s something called

Bluetooth and Android Are they the names of Beyonce’s twins?

Is broadband the name of a rock group Whose members are all overweight? Who app-eal to a number of people Not me though, it’s really too late

I don’t want a screen full of icons Half of I simply won’t use! Tell me is there a manual for dummies? I’ve got the technology blues