‘I found my dad through Yours’
How an appeal in our Where Are You? column led Cynthia Brown to track down her biological dad and a sister she never knew she had
For 50 years, Cynthia Brown daydreamed about what her dad might be like. Having learned at the age of ten that the man she’d grown up living with was not her biological father, she’d long imagined whether her dad was at all like her. “I’d always felt different from the rest of my family so when my mum told me I had a different dad to my brothers and sisters it explained a lot,” says Cynthia. “She told me that his name was Arthur Chapman and that he’d been in the army.” During the war, Cynthia’s mum, Lillian, had been unhappily married to the man Cynthia grew up believing was her dad. Then Arthur, who was stationed nearby in Newmarket, came along and swept her off her feet and they struck up a relationship. After three months of happiness, one day Arthur suddenly vanished from her life when he was drafted out of the blue to a new base in Kent. Cynthia’s mum never saw him again although by that time, she was already pregnant with his baby. Whether she told her husband what had happened or just let him believe it was his child, Cynthia still doesn’t know. When Lillian revealed the surprise news to Cynthia, neither of them had any way of tracking him down. And for years, the two of them went on always thinking about Arthur, but never trying to find him. Then, one day in 2003, long after her mum had passed away, Cynthia decided it was time to at least attempt to find out more about her dad. Having always bought Yours, she decided to submit an appeal for our regular Where are you? column, where readers are invited to appeal for long-lost relatives or friends (p89). Shortly after the appeal went in, Cynthia received a letter from a friend of her dad’s with whom he now lived, confirming Arthur was alive and well. “I initially thought well, at least I know he’s alive, but there’s no way I can say who I think I am as it’ll cause problems in his family. So I wrote back to thank this lady for the letter but saying I wouldn’t take the matter further.” The next thing Cynthia received was a letter directly from her father asking if she thought he was her dad, having guessed the connection. From there, the pair began sending letters back and forth and eventually Cynthia plucked up the courage to ask if they could meet, which they did a few months later. “When we met I gave him a hug and burst into tears,” Cynthia says, becoming teary-eyed even now. “It sounds funny to say, but I somehow felt whole meeting him. Like a piece had been missing but now it wasn’t.”
‘I somehow felt whole meeting him. Like a piece had been missing but now it wasn’t’
As they got to know one another, Cynthia and Arthur soon discovered they had lots in common. “I have exactly the same interests as my dad – crosswords, puzzles and reading. It’s odd because these are the things none of my other siblings ever enjoyed.” They also looked remarkably similar, especially as Cynthia got older. “He had a very oblong face and I find my face grows more and more like his every day. People said that they could
definitely see the similarities between us.” Over the next 13 years, Cynthia and Arthur met up regularly, often indulging in their shared love of jazz concerts and holding big family gatherings when they were together. “My family were really accepting of him which was great,” adds Cynthia. As well as finding this wonderful relationship with her dad, Cynthia also learned she had a half-sister, the daughter of the woman Arthur married once the war was over. “She’s the loveliest lady I’ve ever met and I love her. The only sadness is that I didn’t meet her before she became bed-ridden with MS as she’s quite poorly.” Sadly, Arthur passed away in 2016 aged 95, but nevertheless Cynthia was so grateful for the time she had to share with her dear dad. “I know he loved me and was so pleased to have a relationship with me. My only regret is that I didn’t look for him while my mum Lillian was still alive as she spent her life thinking he’d just had his way with her and then gone off, but actually he had no choice and was forced by the army to leave without saying goodbye. “I never thought when I placed the advert in Yours that I’d actually find him. But I’m so thankful to the magazine for bringing me so many years of happiness with my dad.“